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Adjusting to change???

Together for 13 yrs, married for 8, we have a 7 yr old. He leaves we divorce now he has a girlfriend all in 8 months. I am having a really hard time with all of this. I just need feedback maybe encouragement. I did not work, no college education because I moved straight in with him when I graduated. I feel like I gave up everything for him and now he has just walked away.

by girlinterrupted Posted on 5/5/2008 11:56 PM	send to friend e-mail this from divorce360.com [Adjusting to change???] - divorce360.com To E-mail: Separate multiple addresses with commas(,) From (Your name) : Your e-mail address: Message:
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Answer s for "Adjusting to change???" (6) (You must be logged in to answer)

well you are having a normal reaction at this time it will take some time to really get over him. No you have a young child to live for. Do something fun everyday until you feel better, if that is thaking your child for a walk, playing a game, going on a picnic, getting in a tub a night, going to a friends house. Do nit clean your house for 1 day, save the laundry for later, change your daily shedule do it. You will feel much better and be healthy for your 7 year old. If you want to go out with growups do it, something simple at first as you heal.

by camero 90 Posts
Posted on 5/15/2008 4:12 PM

I disagree with one thing that spaznskitz said about love. Yes you fall in love but I believe that if you REALLY love that person then you will always love that person. I would have to say that he never really loved you as you do him. I am not saying that you never hurt someone you love because that is impossible. If you really love someone you don't do what has been done. Move on with your life. You will find someone again. Hopefully they will love you as you deserve.
As for dating you should hold off on that> heal and learn from what has happened. Take care of you and get to know who you really are. A relationship now would probably blow up in your face.

by mtnvly 489 Posts
Posted on 5/8/2008 7:06 AM

nonononono - dating isn't the answer - it's just rebounding like a yoyo. You have to find happiness in yourself first before you even consider dating again.

You have to accept that just as people fall in love, they can fall out of it - it just wasn't the right relationship for both of you, as much as you wanted it to be.

And why are you hanging on to this - think about it, he obviously wasn't the man you thought he was - and you need to feel lucky that you found out now - while you still have the ability to move forward in your life.

appreciate the good times you had, but put the relationship into perspective and use it as a learning tool for your future.

by spaznskitz 1217 Posts
Posted on 5/6/2008 2:33 PM

I have started school and have tried dateing but I cant seem to release this. I just dont see how a person can do this to another person they supposedly loved.
Oh and for the girl I failed to mention as always been waiting in the wings it seems. They have known each other since he was in high school and her mother has always sent him holiday cards. I probably should have seen the signs.

by girlinterrupted 8 Posts
Posted on 5/6/2008 10:44 AM

Hey GI...

hmm, is there a casket in your living room you plan on getting into? No? seems to me then your life is far from over - all the things you think you missed out on - why not go for it now? want a degree? go get one - hell, there was a 80 some odd year old guy in the news recently who went into first grade to learn how to read because he never could.

they have grants and scholarships and all sorts of funds out there to help out single moms when they want an education.

this doesn't have to be what you feel is an ending - rather a new beginning - you got rid of a monkey on your back, a jerk - be happy about that.

All she is is someone to have sex with - he's driven by his little head, not his big one.

by spaznskitz 1217 Posts
Posted on 5/6/2008 2:47 AM

Hi girlinteruppted,
I just registered to this website. I feel like we are sailing on the same boat only with a few differences. I was with my husband for 12 years, married for nine. I have a 7 and a 5 year old. Throughout our marriage we've had our ups and downs (which is normal). My husband told me about a month ago that he hasn't loved me in years, has thoughts of cheating on me, and wants a divorce. I have been absolutely devasted. I knew we had our problems; however I never knew it was this serious. I feel the same way you do - like I made my life his life and he just closed the book and walked away. I honestly don't have any advise for you right now; however it does make me feel better knowing that there are other people in the world that may feel the same anger, hatred, and heartbreak that I feel. If your heart is as broken as mine I am truly sorry for you. I can honestly say that I would never wish this kind of pain on anyone not even my soon to be ex-husband. Good luck to you and keep your chin up. From: Kimbr

by Kimbr 1 Post
Posted on 5/6/2008 12:13 AM

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