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Hey friend. I know it can be extremely tough w/an emotionally unavailable spouse. Women need, more than anything else to feel treasured and desired. It is what makes us blossom!!  You mention that he "checks out" - that is a very common response that men exhibit when they are feeling nagged (hate using the n word here). The problem is, the more we become frustrated as women, the more the men pull away. The more they pull away, the more we desperately reach out (with harsh words or we may even withdraw physically/emotionally after a while). Rinse and repeat - it's truly an awful "spiral of doom".

Try something different for 3 months: try treating your precious husband as if he were the most important person on this entire planet. Begin to spoil him with all the things that speak to him the most. Cook special meals for him, use encouraging and building words when speaking to him. Try to create a sanctuary in your home that he will actually crave coming home to!  Don't ask for anything in return, just be there to put him first and build him up. See what happens. Watch for signs that he's starting to blossom.

Just remember: the common human desire we all have is to be loved unconditionally. This is your husband's need to. When that need is fulfilled, he can't help but want to fulfill that for you.  This is the profound mystery of love - putting others first.

Seriously, please pray about getting your heart to a point where you will sincerely give this a chance. It'll change your life. And, if nothing happens, then you will know that you gave everything you had with a pure heart.

I'll be praying for you, friend, and for your marriage.

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