You can not help feeling the way you do it is normal. yes you need to grieve for your loss. Cry, talk to who ever you need to get it all out. You sound like you might me depressed try to go a support group, they will let you talk and listen to other people with the same issues.  Next get a lawyer he is cheating use it for the divorce. Not having a job and being ill will make you think more. Go to the doctor see if they can give you a sleeping pill for just a little while just so you can get some rest form thinking all the time. good luck

I agree with both posts, you need to seek counseling or attend a support group it really does help.  Also, talk with your girl friends and family get enough family and friends support around you thru this.  My ex left me for another woman, although he denied it for a long time and I finally found out (well I knew all along) about their affair, and you know what they think the grass is greener on the other side of the street, but it's not.  They will find that out sooner or later, hopefully sooner.  Another thing is I'm not sure if you belong to a church or are religious, but talking with your preacher really does help to, I did that and it really helped me out alot.  Plus I started attending a divorce support group and it helps to talk with people who are going thru the same thing you are.  Sounds like he's a real loser and not very sympathetic about what you are going thru medically, you are better off without him believe me.  In the long run you will see that, right now it just flat out hurts!!  I know my ex just left me in December 2007 and we divorced in March 2008, so the pain for me is still fresh, but I try to take each day as it comes and I also would sit when I had alot of time on my hands and think about what they were doing, what she had I didn't have, etc...  Then I started calling my friends to go out with them, I started reading more books and just keeping busy to keep my mind off of things.  I hope things work out for you with your job and I hope that you have a good support group with friends and family to, you will definitely need them!  I wish you all the luck in the world and I have heard that it does get better with time.  I sure hope they are right.

I am so sorry for your pain.  I have been where you are, and it is not fun.  My husband had an affair also and it seemed at one point, that their affair was all that I could think of.  The best thing I ever did for myself was to get into counseling.  It has worked wonders.  It has given me the tools to find myself amidst all of this chaos.  Because of counseling, I now look forward to the future.  I know now that my husband really did me a favor by leaving me.  Life is sweeter, calmer, and good.  Nobody needs a liar in their life.  I hope your job situation turns around fast and you seek the help of a counselor to help you see the great person you are.  Good luck!

Dear obsessed, I'm not sure how long you were married to this loser but nine weeks is nothing in the great scheme of recovery from being dumped.  You have a ways to go and you need to stop giving yourself a hard time for what you're feeling.  My goodness, dumped from your job and your marriage at the same time--that's really over the top.  You've been traumatized.  Obsession is a symptom of trauma.  Let yourself grieve, cry a lot, let the feelings flow.  You will heal but it will take time.  For now the best thing you can do for yourself is get a counselor to talk to, you will need a lot of support, don't every try to go it alone.  I hope you have girlfriends to talk to, hopefully ones who've been there, done that and can hold your hand.  If you can find a divorce support group, go.    It helps to write down those obessive feelings--write him letters pouring your heart out but don't send them.   There are some terrific books that helped me.  Number one is "Crazy Time" by Abigail Trafford.    It will help you sort out what happened to your marriage and what you're likely to go through as time passes.    I've been there and I know what you're going through.   This too shall pass, however, everything does.  Hang in there.