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  Posted to group - What do i do now    <<Previous    Next>>

Sudden divorce

My husband told me last friday he wanted to seperated and then saturday he said he wants a divorce.  This comes completly out of the blue to me.  He wants us to be friends and basically keep things the same (we own a business) just that we are not legally bound to one another.  He said he loves me, and is attracted to me but he is emotionally broken so he can't be with me.  He said that if we were meant to be then we will happen again.  I am the one crying and feeling broken right now.  I am feeling lost, we have 2 little boys and another on the way.  2 weeks ago he was saying if we got a divorce then we could each fix our credit and then get remarried, I thought he was joking so I said I wouldn't remarry him because I don't believe in divorce.  He doesn't want me to move far away, and he is giving me everything.  His mother also lives with us, So I am so confused! ... Ok last night he asked me if I wanted him to go to bed with me, I gave him a look (not a nice one)he slept on the couch.  He suggested that I get a place away from his mom, and that he would help me do that, I am really confused because part of me wants to get a place with out her (I never wanted her to move in in the 1st place) but on the other hand why should I have to move the kids (again- we just moved here 9 months ago).  He wants us to be partners in our business still and he acts like things are going to be great. 

by sirrapsara    9 Posts   
Posted on 5/2/2008 8:47 AM    
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Answers for "Sudden divorce"  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)




call his bluff - when he gets home from work have a packed suitcase at the front door - tell him if separation is what he wants then he needs to go stay at a hotel.

 

give him a taste of what being without you, his kids & his mom really will be like.

by spaznskitz   2605 Posts
Posted on 5/6/2008 2:25 AM
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Thank you for the advice, I have suggested a counseling but he said it won't work. He hasn't moved out but he is still sleeping on the couch.  He is going to be 35 so i thought it might be a midlife crisis.  I have moved ahead with the credit repair things that I was told to do.  I am hoping he will see that it works and he calms down. He has brought home a movie for us to watch the last few nights but we each sit at the ends of the couch.  Its weird.  The first night he wanted to have sex after (as he said "one last time")but I said no because I can't just have sex with him.  I really don't know how to act around him. I am really just waiting for him to make a move and it pretty much stinks.
by sirrapsara   9 Posts
Posted on 5/4/2008 4:18 PM
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there are marital counselors & there are credit counselors I realize he thinks you will be better off if he leaves, but actually, it isn't going to make either of your situations any better -

where is his mom supposed to go.

I strongly suggest you two sit down with both types of counselors and resolve the issues together.

If it is meant to be you won't split up - you will be a stronger force tackling your problems together than apart.
by spaznskitz   2605 Posts
Posted on 5/4/2008 3:26 AM
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Celie I think is dead-on.  Have you suggested counseling? what did he say? 

I really am a big fan - -
by firecracker   153 Posts
Posted on 5/2/2008 11:11 PM
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I am so sorry to hear about your situation, especially with a little one on the way.  I'm new here, so I don't have a lot of advice. But I will say that it seems that sometimes when people say they want a divorce, it doesn't mean that they will get one. Sometimes they just need space.  It sounds like your husband is under a lot of pressure: finances aren't good, and you will soon have three little ones.  It sounds as though he's running out of potential solutions so he is thinking of a drastic one: divorce. He knows you still love him and don't want it, and isn't realizing that he could lose you for good by the time it's final.  Sounds like he is playing with the idea, and needs some kind of reality check.  I have no suggestion for what that might be.
Also....how old is your husband? Could be a midlife crisis.
by Celie   2 Posts
Posted on 5/2/2008 10:10 AM
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