Forgot this advice I saw on the internet and all the attorney I spoke with agreed.
If you have been the primary caretaker of your kids and a stay at home mom do not get a job right now. Wait till after the divorce.You more than likely will have to work after your divorce is final but if you get a job right now you will get less money in the divorce.
With more and more states instilling a no fault divorce and judges devaluing women's roles as mothers and homemakers alimony is not a guarantee anymore. Your ex will have to pay child support of course. Check with your state to see if they have a Vocational rehab program to help displaced homemakers recieve training so you can get a job that pays more than McDonalds.
Good luck

Ok, I am so sorry for you but you can do this and have to for yourself and your childrens safety.I just went through a divorce in Idaho and my ex also was very abusive. Be careful...it is true at least in my case that my ex lied,got rid of my car and his car and then told the judge we didnt' have any cars...he lied about his income, he made up horrible lies about me ,accused me of child abuse ,drug use,,,,it just never stopped.He had 2 goals in mind  and had planned this all for years. He left and year ago and had been working on my 2 youngest children to live with him. Youngest was only 10 when he started  it.Ex decided to leave and did take my 2 younger kids. He walked out and has not ever had to pay me once single penny even though we were married for 27 yrs..I was a stay at home mom and I am disabled. His goal was to not pay alimony or child support and he got what he wanted. He now drives a new car ,new house,old and new girlfriends.It all comes down to money in a divorce. Do not count on anything to go your way in court. Hopefully it will.Get a small voice activated tape recorder and  catch your husband being abusive ...no matter what kind. Record what he says...yells....threatens... to you or your kids. Men who abuse women or children are the lowest form of men and they will do anything to get what they want or what they think you want.It doesn't make sense to anyone else except to the abuser. Do not rely on your attorney to have your best interest at heart. They are overworked . You have to be the advocate for you and the attorney works for you. Ask friends and family if they know a good lawyer.
Divorce is a private hell but so is abuse. Abusive men just become more abusive when you are divorcing them.

since you don't work you should be entitled to temp maintenance for a period until you can get back on your feet - maybe a few years -  but child support you will get until the kids are 18 or graduate HS, unless you stipulate in the divorce documents that he has to pay for them for as long as they are getting an education, which means college too - and if that is the case then it gets stated he has to cover their tuition.

Thank you. I will look into a local domestic abuse shelter. My friend gave me a phone # to one. So, can I still ask for any help from him to pay the mortgage while I find a job, even if he has to leave the house?

Also, can I request spousal and child support and for how long after the divorce goes threw?? 

Thank You so much for your help. May God Bless You....

considering the fact he is a controlling abusive jerk you aren't going to be able to leave the state and file in CA

if you go before you are granted a divorce, what he can do is file for your immediate return to AZ, and he can futher request custody of the kids until the divorce is final - and that gives him the advantage to keep the children in his custody permanently - and guys like that will do it just to spite their wives for trying to leave.

the proper way to handle this is to file for divorce, requesting temp custody of the children and control of the marital home so that he has to move out until the divorce is final and you fiure out what you are going to do with that asset (the house). In your petition for divorce, you also request to be able move with the kids to CA. 

You are going to have to accept the fact that there is a very good chance you will be unable to leave AZ. because if he refuses to allow the move, the court may not grant you the right.

 

My suggestion to you when it comes to an attorney, because you will need one, is for you to contact a local domestic abuse shelter - they have resources for people in your situation, including low cost or sometimes free attorney service.

 

You may want to consider at the very least, a part time job for now to get some money saved.

 

 

I'm a family law attorney