He finally wants to see his kids

I wrote this in my journal and I would like to know if anyone has any advice on how to handle this type of situation. My stbx has not seen our girls (ages 2 and 4) in a month and a half. He is finally offering to take them this weekend from Thu afternoon to Sun afternoon. I have made myself sick with worry already. Even when he was around, I was the one who got up with them at 7 am when they get up to make them breakfast, etc. He barely dragged himself out of bed by 10, and that was at my prodding. He’s going to have to bathe them, which is something he only did a couple of times. How is he going to do this without me there as a back up? He barely did anything to help take care of them before. They are all going to be staying at his parents’ house. Every time we went there as a family, I brought extra food for meals just in case I needed it. And sometimes I needed it. I hate that I am going to have to pack them food and toys and videos and possibly even pillows and blankets. His parents barely pay attention to them while they are there and his parents are going to be expected to watch them a couple times while he is at work. I know they need their daddy in their lives, but I am still having a hard time with them staying with him and his family.

by firefly 140 Posts
Posted on 4/30/2008 3:23 PM

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Tags: children , visitation , ex spouse

Answers for "He finally wants to see his kids" (2) (You must be logged in to answer)

You are making a mountain out of a molehill mom. The reason he didn't do all those things with the kids, is because you were there to do them - you stepped up to the plate before he even could and I'll have to hazard a guess you didn't push him too much when it came to the child duties while you were married. Most mommies don't.

the tasks you are worried about aren't rocket science. He know how a bathtub works and he has done it before and he didn't break the girls then, I doubt he will this weekend either =)

food - yeah, they will probably eat crap - that tends to happen during the non-custodial visit - especially the first ones since most of it is fun and games...

bottom line, he loves his girls - and although he won't be perfect at it right away, he's going to be just fine, and won't let anything bad happen to them.

by spaznskitz 7745 Posts
Posted on 4/30/2008 10:45 PM

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I do understand but as you said yourself, they need their daddy and they probably do. Why not give it a chance. Maybe he really wants to step up to the plate. Don't let an opportunity slip away because of fear. Let go and see what happens just this time. If it turns out good as I bet it will, it will be easier to let them go next time. He NEEDS to step up without you there to catch him when he falls. You might be pleasantly surpirsed and the break will do you good. Really, it will. I raised two daughters and I know how hard it is to let you children be out of your sight for a second but just try it out.
Try to find something to do with your gal pals like lunching or shopping or just hanging out and talking. That is always fun no matter what.

by Linny 152 Posts
Posted on 4/30/2008 3:51 PM

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