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im lost and confused on what i should do. plz help?

im 19 yrs old and have been married for a year. We have been together for about 3 and 1/2 yrs. hes been in jail 3 times and everytime he goes in no matter how long it is i cheat on him. i moved to texas 2 be with him at the end of january 07 and ive cheated on him 4 times since. he only knows about 1 time. i know that i have a problem with cheating and it seems like i cant stop. the only time i feel bad about it is when he confronts me. lately i have started really liking one of the guys that i've been cheating on him with. i want to get a divorce and that way im not cheating or hurting him anymore, but i heard its complicated and theres alot of paper work. should i just leave the state and never come back and just let him file for divorce or what?

by baby_gurl 7 Posts
Posted on 4/28/2008 2:23 PM

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Answers for "im lost and confused on what i should do. plz help?" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

i've been wanting to go to counseling for the longest time but i just dont have the money. i used to have some good friends that worked just as well as counseling but i no longer talk to them and my new friend, well, we've been friends for like 6 months but anyways, but i used to look at her for advice but it was never any good so i stopped. the other day i wrote my mom a letter and told her what was going on to see what she says and she wrote me back today and i should get the letter friday. so when i get the letter ill give an update on the advice or info she gave me if its not too personal. -lost and confused

by baby_gurl 7 Posts
Posted on 4/30/2008 4:34 PM

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Since you have only been married for a year you can both just agree to the divorce and go to the courthouse ,fill out the paperwork and sign and be on your way.
The real issue however is what is compelling you to not be faithful. Chances are you will not be faithful to the next guy so really for your own benefit it seems necessary for you to get some individual counseling and try and pinpoint what the problem is. You are not a bad person but there is something way deeper going on

by Dragginflyy 11 Posts
Posted on 4/29/2008 4:49 PM

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You might also try couples counseling. If you're both willing, it can open up the communication that seems to be missing between you. I wish you the best on this.

by Robert-Boyd 3407 Posts
Posted on 4/28/2008 6:38 PM

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im going to add to that. i want to move out of this state and he dont, we dont get along very well, idk i guess i just want to be free and have some freedom. the only time i can do anything is when hes at work and when hes home we dont do anything!! we never hang out with friends, we rarely go out of town. idk -confused and lost

by baby_gurl 7 Posts
Posted on 4/28/2008 4:23 PM

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You could run, but it wouldn't stop there. You haven't stopped running yet, why would it change? Do you really think any of this is any good? How does it help you, your husband, or the guy you're cheating with? If you really like the "new" guy, what's to keep you from cheating on him? You said it yourself, the cheating problem is in you. Until you make an effort to correct it, you'll never stop, and it doesn't matter who your partner is. You need to start considering the people around you.

I would recommend you stop seeing the new guy, then you should start seeing a counselor. You need to look at why you're cheating or you'll never be good for anybody. You're young, if you change this now, you can build a better life for yourself. If you don't change it now, you risk a lot of regret.

by Robert-Boyd 3407 Posts
Posted on 4/28/2008 3:00 PM

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im lost and confused on what i should do. plz help?

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