that is rediculous to switch the kids every other night - normally I don't advise something like this but he's going to turn those poor kids into little emotional wrecks.

 

Refuse overnight visitation until the court hearing. He can visit the kids where you are, twice a week, and once on the weekend for a few hours, but he can't leave the house with them. He can call them on the phone and as long as he is decent and doesn't get them upset. This way you aren't denying him visitation, but you are controlling it. Make sure there is always someone there with you.

You can tell him that you consulted an attorney, and this was what was advised based on his actions & his unreasonable visitation demand that is not in the best interest of the kids - and that at the court hearing, the judge can set a fair and reasonable temporary visitation schedule but for now, since you two don't agree, they are staying with you 100% of the time.

If during his visitation at your home he causes any trouble, tries to leve with the kids - you call 911.

Ok...he is staying at his parents'.  I am at my parents'.  I am about to move into my grandmother's home.  My parents have bought it for me and the children.  I would like to move in ASAP.  Is That a good idea?  He demands that he gets the children every other night...I guess I have no other option at this point.  Is that correct?  So no matter where they stay there is going to be a disruption every other night.

don't assume what a judge may or may not take into consideration - there is a difference between what is law, and what you think should happen.

you can't keep him from the kids if you go there alone - the RO will only end up being for your protection, and the kids will have to still go on visitation. He has to show aggression in front of/around the children if you want them on the RO as well.

 

If you want to still let him have vistitation, then you can go alone, but I highly advise you at least have a friend with you. Better safe than sorry.

Your kids need stability- being at grandma's house is just another in a series of disruptions to their lives that this divorce is causing - they need their own home and their own beds.

 

Don't let the house forclose, you will regret it in the long run - short sale it if you have to.

I’m not a family law attorney, but if you leave the home for three weeks before a custody hearing to protect your children it would seem to me that the judge would take that into account.  Here’s another suggestion, on your night in the house, why not leave the kids with your their grandparents, go to the house and try to get him to leave.  Tell him you’ll bring the kids as soon as he’s gone because you don’t want to fight with him when they’re there..  If he refuses to leave, call 911.    Explain the situation to the cops when they arrive.  Yes, he may be more angry, but the kids won’t see it, and he may be intimidated by your seriousness in calling the police.   No matter what happens you’ll have a record of his behavior for the court.  Unless he’s dangerous, which you don’t seem to believe he is, letting him bully you will only make things worse in the long run.  If you need to get a restraining order get one and keep him away from the kids until the custody hearing.  At that point  he’ll probably comply  with what the court orders.  Bullies tend to back down when confronted by authority.

I’m not a family law attorney, but if you leave the home for three weeks before a custody hearing to protect your children it would seem to me that the judge would take that into account.  Here’s another suggestion, on your night in the house, why not leave the kids with your their grandparents, go to the house and try to get him to leave.  Tell him you’ll bring the kids as soon as he’s gone because you don’t want to fight with him when they’re there..  If he refuses to leave, call 911.    Explain the situation to the cops when they arrive.  Yes, he may be more angry, but the kids won’t see it, and he may be intimidated by your seriousness in calling the police.   No matter what happens you’ll have a record of his behavior for the court.  Unless he’s dangerous, which you don’t seem to believe he is, letting him bully you will only make things worse in the long run.  If you need to get a restraining order get one and keep him away from the kids until the custody hearing.  At that point  he’ll probably comply  with what the court orders.  Bullies tend to back down when confronted by authority.