Search our site

divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.


space
ad by divorce360
ADVERTISING PARTNERS


Answers
You can search for Answers by tag here:


Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here

where do I start
Our checklists are a great place to start. Or, get a quick review of your state's divorce laws with our Legal Cheat Sheet.

Question

  Posted to group - Difficult Ex's    <<Previous    Next>>

Soon to be ex husbands girlfriend

Me and my husband just filed for a divorce in Feb 08 after he walked out on me and our 3 children in Jan 08 for another girl. We have joint custody of our children, with me being domicery parent and him getting them alternating weekends. The weekend he has our children, his 19 yr old girlfriend is always there. He says he is not committing adultry, but the whole town knows that she is practically living with him. The weekend he gets the children, he always breaks the rules by having his girlfriend stay past the time allowed, which I was told was 10pm. My oldest child says she is always there past midnight and that they always tell him to lie and say she isnt there when she is. Two weekends ago he said he had a nightmare and went into his dads room, which he dad makes them sleep in the living room on the floor, that they were under the covers on the floor while our youngest child was alseep on the bed, thats just wrong to me. This weekend, i found out that they spent Friday night at her house with her. I was told that was wrong too. She lives with her mom, moms boyfriend, brother, sister n law, 2 nephews, and her 6 month old. Her mother has been arrested  2 times for drug charges, I do not want my kids around her. My ex's girlfriend is also not a good person from what i have been told, I have been told she sleeps around and is also on drugs. My ex is a Police Officer in the town where we live and has been investigated by the Sheriffs Department for sleeping with a 16 yr old girl. His girlfriend now is only 19 yrs old. I have found out that he has left our children alone with her, while he has ran errands, which I was also told was not allowed, that they could be left with family only. He also admitted to me that she is liveing with him and I was told that if she moved in that it was automatic adultry since legally we are still married. My ex lives with a guy he works with, who can verify that they are sleeping together. I was wanting to know what I can do to keep her away from my kids if they continue to not follow the rules and if I can really get him for adultry since she is living there? Please help me with this, I have made myself sick with worry and stress over this. By the way my ex is 27yrs old.

by tempted    3 Posts   
Posted on 4/27/2008 2:26 AM    
Sent to Friendsend to friend
    Log in to Add Friends
Tags:
0


read more from user >>


Answer s for "Soon to be ex husbands girlfriend"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)

Your attorney is making the right choice to wait 3 months - as much as you want to pounce on him now. The more contempt charges, the more chance the judge will go harder on him. It goes from not understanding the court order, to willfull disregard.

Technically, Louisiana is a no-fault divorce state. You can divorce on the grounds that there was adultery - but it isn't like an equitable distribution state where you get a bigger piece of the pie if adultery is proven. LA is a community property state - so it's 50/50 regardless and adultery doesn't have much of a bearing on custody or visitation, unless you are in front of an uberconservative judge.

Unless you two were in a covenant marriage - and I had to look that term up as apparently it is only recognized in 3 states, but it came up in the statutes when I was reading about adutery, then it's a much larger factor.

 

by spaznskitz   2219 Posts
Posted on 4/27/2008 3:47 AM
Log in to Add Friends
0


My lawyer is telling me that it is wrong and he has hired a PI who has pictures of all this wrong doing and has pulled an arrest recored for both her and her mom. But my lawyer wants to wait 3 months and gather more evidence first before going back to court. That way when my ex says he isnt or hasnt done something then we will have the proof that he is lying and that he has broke the orders. Our orders do say that family only is allowed to be left alone with our kids. I just want him to go down now and get it over with so I can move on with my life. My ex is also being court order to take a DNA test to prove that he not the father of the girl he cheated on me last yr with so if that comes back postive then that is automatic adulrty becuase that child is only 8 months old. We live in Louisiana.
by tempted   3 Posts
Posted on 4/27/2008 3:03 AM
Log in to Add Friends
0


My lawyer is telling me that it is wrong and he has hired a PI who has pictures of all this wrong doing and has pulled an arrest recored for both her and her mom. But my lawyer wants to wait 3 months and gather more evidence first before going back to court. That way when my ex says he isnt or hasnt done something then we will have the proof that he is lying and that he has broke the orders. Our orders do say that family only is allowed to be left alone with our kids. I just want him to go down now and get it over with so I can move on with my life. My ex is also being court order to take a DNA test to prove that he not the father of the girl he cheated on me last yr with so if that comes back postive then that is automatic adulrty becuase that child is only 8 months old. We live in Louisiana.
by tempted   3 Posts
Posted on 4/27/2008 3:03 AM
Log in to Add Friends
0


I need to know what state you are in to give you any specific advice.

Who is telling you what is "wrong"?

Also, the only thing you have control over, and I'm assuming this text is in your separation agreement "neither parent, shall have a member of the opposite sex around the children durning overnight visitation" is if she stays overnight - to prove that, you need to hire an PI and have his home watched. His roommate could be called, but he could also lie. You want someone credible as your witness.

 

As far as having the kids around her during the day, or having her watch them for him  - that isn't something you can control. He has a right to have them babysat. You can't prove drug use unless she has been arrested and convicted - again, the PI could find that information out for you.

Long story short, unless you can prove RECENT conviction for drug use by this gf, there isn't much you can do other than take him to court for contempt when yuo have multiple proven violations of the agreement of when she can be there.

I'm a family law attorney

by spaznskitz   2219 Posts
Posted on 4/27/2008 2:35 AM
Log in to Add Friends
0







Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

 
divorce Community::

popular blogs

I'm letting you go!
Another letter to my wife that I will never give her. There are some parts in...read more 

Is she cheating on me?
My wife has steadfastly denied infidelity as a reason for our marriage...read more 

What is rebound love?
What is rebound love? I always heard of it but I realized that I...read more 

get/give answers

I hope i`m wrong.
I wanna believe my husband so bad on what he told me, i don`t know if i`m...Read Answers/share yours 

Boy, did I make a discovery today!!!!!!!!!
I was cleaning out some paperwork that was no longer needed and was going...Read Answers/share yours 

involving kids in divorce
How do I deal with an ex that CONSTANTLY involves kids in EVERYTHING. Legal,...Read Answers/share yours 

expert Q&As

Faith Therapy : Does a Separation Work?
My Husband and I Are Having Trouble. Is It a Good Idea for Us to Separate?...read more 

Stress Relief: Tips to Help after Separation
Mental Health: Overwhelmed by Changes in Household Routine. What Should I do?...read more 

About Law: Do Divorce Kits Work?
Legal: What You Should Consider When You Think About Divorcing Using a Kit...read more 

expand information center