I can relate to this.  I am considering leaving a long term marriage (30 years) because my husband did pretty much the same thing.  Now, I don't know how old you are or how long you have been married.  I don't know your financial situation either.  No amount of talking, begging, screaming, crying ever made my husband decide to all of a sudden stay home and live up to his end of the bargin.  I used to call my husband the "married single guy".  He liked to party party party.  My concern when my children were young was purely financial.  I stuck it out and made the best of it because I wanted to give them a decent home.  How little did I believe in myself!!!  I can't tell you what to do, I can only speak from experience and tell you that I had to pretty much stop feeling my emotions to survive in the marriage.  Now, my children are grown and have moved out.  What was left of me was just a shell of a person.  I have been working very hard over the past year to find myself again...counseling, reading....etc.  But now I wished I would have left the marriage a long time ago.  It cost me too much of myself to stay, and no amount of money is worth that. 

Looking back, I sincerely wished I would have insisted on some sort of marriage counseling.  I know my husband would have resisted, but I would have kept trying.  He needs to hear from someone other than you that he is dropping the ball here!

Hi Sadie, I really feel for you.  I assume he just comes home and walks out again and you don't know where he's going.  Is that the situation?  What happens when you ask him where he's going?  Do you think he's having an affair?  Have you confronted him?  Tell us more about your marriage and how long this has been going on.  I'm an older women who's been through a lot and maybe I can help.

Hi Sadie, I really feel for you.  I assume he just comes home and walks out again and you don't know where he's going.  Is that the situation?  What happens when you ask him where he's going?  Do you think he's having an affair?  Have you confronted him?  Tell us more about your marriage and how long this has been going on.  I'm an older women who's been through a lot and maybe I can help.