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Marsham-
first - welcome! This is a good place to chat/vent/learn. 6,000+ people here have experienced exactly what you are going through. You can learn from them - and they can learn from you - its why we are all here. Read some of their Journals, take comfort in the shared issues - enjoy not being alone: http://www.divorce360.com/community/journals/default.aspx
second - How to have "the talk" is discussed here: http://www.divorce360.com/articles/372/talking-with-your-spouse-about-divorce.aspxthird - there are some good resources here that may help as well. consider blogging (creating a journal) as a way to give voice to your feelings - it feels good to put things down on paper (or the Internet version of paper). fourth - Read all you can - sounds like you should be starting here: http://www.divorce360.com/how-to-divorce-filing-finding-divorce-attorneys.aspx
Finally - give back! answer a few people with similar problems - even an "chin up" is appreciated by people! good luck!
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