Leilani - I hope you do not take this as too hard core. I once believed that two people can go through this and still be reasonable. However if this was true and he was a person of his word.........he would have not cheated on you! Especially for your entire marriage!!!

Get a competent lawyer and have any and all aggrements go through the court system. There will be bombshells in the future that you can not see now, but your lawyer can anticipate and put controls (rules) in place that will help you in the future.

This situation has a way of distorting your vision and one hopes for a reasonable situation. That is hopes for....and I do hope the best for you but please do not be lead into anything without your lawyer present for legal guidance.
It is expensive, ask your family for help if you need to, but in the end it is the best thing that you can do, not just for yourself but for your children as well.

I went through this eight years ago, after all the lies, betrayel, unfaithfullness, my wife napped my son and this was the second time. Hiding in a womens shelter where the police finally found her.......I had finally had enough and got a lawyer. Best decision I have ever made. Now eight years later I still refer back to the court documents for every visit. Seems as time goes by the details get forgotten. Nice to have them in writing, err Court Order!

By the way, after the unfaithfullness on the part of my wife...we did try to work it out...only to have her very parinoid that I would do the same thing to her that she did to me. In the end I was accused of cheating without cause and she signed an affidavit to it...more lies....

So, get a lawyer, a good one, pay him...work hard
and live well,  as I am a firm believer that living well is the best revenge.

Oh, by the way, my divorce happened in California, there you can cheat on your spouce, screw them over after taking a vow in a church with 250 family and friends present, including the cheaters Grandfather who was the