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here is the link from the supernanny site about the sleep separation technique - I highly highly highly suggest you put it into practice immediately - http://www.supernanny.us.com/Advice/-/Your-toddler/-/Toddler-care/The-sleep-separation-technique.aspxit will be a week at the most before your child understands she won't get what she wants and will stay in bed all night. Please do this for your marriage, you have no reason to leave him, you have no reason to cheat - you need to get your child out of your bed and your lovelife back into it.
take it from a seasoned parent professional - you aren't going to do any permanent damage to your child getting her in her own bed, and it won't be forever that you have to get up to comfort her.
I can almost guarantee that once you have your bed to yourself and your husband - a lot of your stress and troubles are going to go away & you aren't going to be calling him selfish.
Kadi -I was about to go to bed but I feel compelled to stay up and post to you, even if it means I'm a bit bleary eyed tomorrow. I'm married, 18+ years in fact, I am on this site because I normally answer in a legal capacity (I'm a family law attorney) but I also have 5 children - so I think I can help you out a bit here...I compare sleeping husbands to hybernating bears. If you wake them up, they are grumpy and unreasonable. You can't have a loving caring conversation with a bear. You can't expect a bear to be thinking of anything else except when he's going to be able to put his head back on the pillow. He was being loving to you - he offered for you to stay. His request to leave the sleeping child where she was was not unreasonable. You could have laid with him a while until you felt better and gone back to the child as a compromise had you thought about it. The fact you two disagree on parenting is not reason to think he doesn't love you.
Kadi - having the child in bed with you has to stop. It is negatively affecting your marriage. How are you two supposed to come to any sort of intimacy with a child who is almost 2 drooling between you - you have let it affect your marriage to the point you two sleep in seperate rooms! Most children, by 19 months, sleep perfectly fine through the night. The problem you have is self created. What you are doing is actually not very good for your daughter either - she has to learn to sleep on her own. She actually probably does know how - I'm sure she takes her daily nap just fine all on her own. She is manipulating you at night. Yes, it's going to be tough to see her upset about sleeping in her own bed - but it is going to hurt you more that it hurts her. Haven't you ever watched Supernanny - or Nanny911 (I don't think that one airs anymore) On almost every show she has to instruct the parents how to get the child to bed, and to stay in it. running out of room - next post....
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