Where to start

I have been married for 16 years. Last year my wife told me we needed to go to counseling to fix this no existent sex life. I agreed. Later she said she felt like she was the one that needed the counseling. As we went into counseling she refused to work with the counselors, saying they were judging her.
We only had 2 sessions together. Now she has made the plans and is moving out. She told me that she had never been attracted to me and she needed someone she could have sex with. She has been going through some major emotional issues and is on medications. She will be moving out in about a week. I need to start a legal separation per her request. How do I start. I don't even know that I can begin to afford an attorney.

by JerryG 4 Posts
Posted on 4/21/2008 9:29 PM

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Answers for "Where to start" (6) (You must be logged in to answer)

Jerry-

when she moves, is she taking the children with?

stand up for yourself - if she is moving out with the kids then she needs to realize what life is like being on your own as a single parent.

You are not required to pay for anything unless court ordered to do so, so if she wants the kids in daycare, and wants to be on her own, well, the bill is all hers then.

Save your money and get prepared for the worst while hoping for the best.

I understand you love her and you want your family whole, but that doesn't mean you should allow yourself to be used and walked on.

Also, talk to a few more attorneys, you can find one that is willing to work with you on a retainer fee, where it is less than what you were quoted and/or will take payments on it.

by spaznskitz 3855 Posts
Posted on 4/22/2008 7:25 PM

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I just checked with a lawyer. Georgia does not recognize a legal separation. I can get a separation agreement. Other wise it would be a file for divorce and that would cost $2500 to start. I have no money left. The small amount in savings I will have to use to pay the kids daycare in the summer. She can eventually go for full custody and child support which will cost $1100 a month. We are currently in consumer credit counseling. I don't even have half that money now. All I can do is wait for things to slowly crumble around me.

by JerryG 4 Posts
Posted on 4/22/2008 1:55 PM

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And the only reason I am seeking to pay for the legal separation is to protect myself.

by JerryG 4 Posts
Posted on 4/22/2008 10:55 AM

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Thanks, I have gone and looked up attornies for with the free consultations. I have also contacted my church to see if there is someone there who handles those matters.

I agree with you also fritz there is more than just sex. I don't know if she is moving out to try and get away as a chance to fix things or if she just wants to start dating other men. I have no choice but to move on either way. I went through a midlife crisis of my own a couple of years ago and I believe that is when all this first started. She has the idea I watch porn all the time and stuff which is not true, only thing like that I was guilty of is trying to find information to share with her on making the sex life better, and not kinky stuff...kind of like from none to move forward. Only reason I went to the web for any was that she would not even talk to me about it. Even the counselor believed me.

by JerryG 4 Posts
Posted on 4/22/2008 10:54 AM

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you kind of sound like me. i have no judgement whatever you need to do is your desicion. i have part of that problem my husband tells me he cant have sex but theres more to being close than sex i just want him to lay with me hold me touch me and do things with me you probably miss all that too i havent been held in months do you feel all alone i wish you much luck

by fritz 31 Posts
Posted on 4/22/2008 10:23 AM

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Why is it that you have to pay for the drawing up of a legal separation document if this is what she wants?

Jerry, I think it is time for you to start standing up for yourself, she sounds like she controls everythinng.

tell her that if she wants a legal separation, she can handle the details of it and you will have your attorney look it over when it is drafted.

then you go into the phone book and make appointments for free cunsultations with attorneys in your area about your upcoming case and get quotes for services - find one that will work with you and your financial situation.

by spaznskitz 3855 Posts
Posted on 4/21/2008 11:43 PM

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Where to start