401k away

sorry it took me so long to get back to this - I can't tell when someone reposts after an answer, I just have to go back every once in a while.

Don't be so sure you won't be able to bring proof to court - let me know what state you are in - let's see if you can legally record him, and if you can - all it takes is a conversation and a tape recorder hidden somewhere...

we also need to see if adultery is even a factor, if you live in a no- fault divorce state it won't matter,

As long as you file first, before he cashes it out -you will be ok, because if he does it after the papers are filed, he can still be made to pay you because the court will get him for willfully trying to hide or dispose of assets. It isn't tolerated.

I think he is going to cash out now.  We haven't filed any papers.  We've been married for 11 years.  He has alot of money in his 401k.   I can't have his account flagged because I don't have any rights to his account.   I want him to pay for what he did to me.  He's been cheating on me for 3 years and I didn't know.  I don't have any proof to present to the court because the cell phone he is using is a company phone and the woman he is cheating with works with him.  I need to find away to make him pay.

maybe - it depends on how long you were married and only if he does it while you are legally separated - if it is done before any legal proceedings are in place and/or you are married but just living apart - or considering divorce - then no.