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I understand being scared to go it alone, but do you really want to bring your children up in a home that will teach them that disrespect and infidelity is ok?
you have two choices - demand marital counseling and become incredibly strict with him, he has to check in all the time, give you access to his phone e-mail etc. You would need to install a keylogger onto your computer to monitor his use - etc basically treat him like a punished 5 year old...or
get to getting on with your life. File for your legal separation, and due to NY being a fault state, your attorney can ensure that you and the children are well taken care of due to his infidelity. Including possibly having to pay all of your attorney costs.
What you need to do is hit the phone book and start going to free consultations with attorneys in your area to get an idea of how much things will cost, what they will work with you on financially, and what they feel they can do for you.
it's best to prepare for the worst just in case - he's a repeat cheating offender, and if I were you I'd think long and hard about what it is doing to you, and how it is going to affect your children in the long run. Protect yourself.
I'm a family law attorney
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