Here it is... My husband was the stay at home dad and fits your wife to a tee. I work nearly everyday and when I get home he hasn't done anything but play on the computer and watch TV. There are dishes all over, trash shoved in the couch cushions where he laid all day, toys from our son scattered through the house. And guess who does the laundry, cleans, cooks, and does the dishes. Of course the moment I get home our son becomes my responsibility and I have to juggle it all. FRUSTRATING! I got fed up and we were not intimate for about 3 months before I had an affair. It started out just as chit chat and flirting but about one month in it turned physical. Still no intimacy between my husband and I now for 5 months. I have no desire to be physical with my husband. I feel like he could care less how I feel and treats me with no respect. Here's the interesting part. He finally got off his lazy but and got a job. The job requires travel and a lot of it. When he left I actually was excited that I would only have one child to take care of now. I keep asking myself if things will be different when he comes back and I know the answer is no. Odds are they will be even worse, the few things I was able to beg him to do he wont want to now that he is working. I cant tell you what to do because I am struggling myself with the question of "Should I go or should I stay?" I am ready to say "I go." I am 23 years old and my husband is 22 (all ready on his 2nd marriage). Our son is turning 18 months old in 3 days (crazy, huh?).I know that there are people out there that know how to treat me the way I deserve. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but once you get back how long will it be before you are right back in the same rut? Let go now or hold on where it will hurt more later on?

If she is depressed and you leave for a year do you think she is going to get better? Help her now before you leave. Think about your son.

If you may be deployed, you do not need to be worrying about what is going on at home.  If your wife is not willing to go to counseling or open up about her feelings and concerns you can not make her.  Go for yourself, it will help to sort out YOUR feelings and needs.

You are too young to live this way, and your son needs you.

God bless you and your son.  Hold your head up high.

Thank you for protecting our country.

I do appoligize in my recent submission I had wrote that "I am saying she is cheating..." And it was meant to be "I am not saying she is cheating...." Please forgive me for that.
Donna

I also suffer from depression, I am on meds and I some days I just dont feel like cleaning or cooking or anything but I have two kids 12 and 4 and there is no way I would let it go too long for their health and well being. I am serperated because yes I would slack sometimes maybe wait a few hours after lunch to clean the dishes ect and he would get on my case tell I never do anything well nit pick and he knew I was down but he used it to get to me and yes I worked. My point is that I did some of the things she is doing but there is no way when I am depressed enough to get that far would I even want to speek to other men let alone anybody. That is what depression is. you are down on yourself and life and you dont want people around you or to be around. I feel she is using it as an excuss to be the way she is being towards you and that is not right. If she cannot intruduce you to these men then there is something more going on, I am saying she is cheating but there is a door open to that otherwise there would be no secrets!!! plain & simple. Depression is a medical condition that should not be taken lightly and should be delt with. If you want to work on it or to even stay friends then get her the help she needs if she does have depression and get info for yourself so you will understand it as well, it will help a great deal. Depressed people need alot of support. Otherwise, if she disagress with help then you serriously need to move on.
Good luck to you.
Donna