Am I just another sucker?

Two weeks ago, I finally got to the truth of why my wife is so unhappy. Here is my side of the story. In 23 years of marriage she has committed financial adultery 3 times. She has formed a "friendship" with an acquaintance of her mother. Someone she could apparently "talk to" I have suspected something was happening with this person but she always told me he was just like a brother. Come to find out he is in love with her. When asked if she was in love with him, she said she didn't know. After my first suspicions I asked her not to have anymore contact with this person. She agreed. Yeah right, she confessed she has been texting him all along. Needless to say I was devastated but not surprised. After 23 years together you come to know someone better than they know themselves. At least you thought. She wanted to just leave and go back to her mother in Missouri where this friendship was allowed to flourish. She wanted to leave me with my two teenage children, one that is 7 months pregnant. Having enough of the lies and deceit, I told her I wanted a divorce. For the first time in our marriage we voluntarily slept in separate beds. I took off my ring and set it on her nightstand. The next morning, she knelt beside me while I sat  and she said she didn't know if she could do this. She said she saw that I had taken off my ring and realized what she was about to throw away. She said she is ashamed of the women she has turned into. She said she is ashamed of what she put me and the kids through the past 6 months. All that I could think of to do was hold her close to me and love her like I always have. So I did. Here is my predicament. I am living on my last thread, and a part of my heart is dead. Part of her is dead to me also. We have agreed to try and work things out one last time. But I don't know if I will ever be able to trust her completely again. My perception of her has been discolored. My 16 year old bride is not there anymore, blame it on a mid-life crises I suspect. I deserve to be loved as I love. I deserve to give trust and respect as it has been given to me. That is all I want. That is all I ever wanted. Am I just another sucker? Maybe just hard headed. Maybe I don't want to be a failure. I still love her and worship the ground she walks on. I guess only time will tell. But I am 43 and I dent know how much time or energy I have left. Thanks for allowing me to finally tell someone. For what its worth.

Update. It has been two weeks and everything "seemed to be getting a little better".  All along I have been tempted to pick up her cell phone and see for myself if she had broken it off but I felt it was wrong and that I would be doing to her what she has been doing too me behind the back. But because of the hurt and resentment and basic fact that I had to find out where I stood, I decided to check it out one morning before heading off to work. Low and behold he was texting her and telling her things that only couples having been intimate would say. I immediately confronted her about it and she admitted that she stopped talking with him for the first week but missed talking to him, initiated further conversation with him. In our conversing, she finally admitted that she wanted both him and me and she could not decide which to choose. So I told her that I will not nor do I deserve to share her with another. I told her she needed to choose right now because I cannot go on like this any longer. After much crying and confessing, she once again told me that she chose me and would give me her whole heart and soul how ever much of it she had left. She once again confessed how ashamed and stupid she felt. I once again told her that I have not given up on us and accepted her back. I told her I needed to see for myself that she was going to break it off with the other man. She showed me the text she sent him and showed me that she removed his contact from her phone. I know, I know i am not so naive to think that this makes it final with all the past deceit but I am satisfied with her gesture to do this. However my children are coming to realize how there mother truly operates and what it has done to their father. They are hurt and confused also. We are reaching the point of irreparability. I do not know what to believe anymore. I do not know if I did the right thing. I have continuing feelings of sadness that come over me when I see something on tv or hear a phrase in a song. All that I can think of is what she has done to me and my kids. I am beginning to wonder if I really want her anymore. If I suspect any further deceit or infidelity, the next thing she gets from me are divorce papers plain and simple. A person has limitations and although you may not know what they are at the time, they will make themselves known when they have been reached. Thank you all for your concern and response to my first post. If you hear from me again it will be in the "how to begin a divorce" group. Gook luck to all

John