Should I Go with My Boyfriend to a Family Event?

So I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. His daughter has no tolerance for me and my daughter and no desire to know us. She is rude to us most of the time, but she is also rude to most people most of the time. His mom has invited us for the first night of Passover. My daughter is willing to go because she likes my boyfriend and she wants to be supportive of me, even though his daughter, on the very few occassions we have been around her, hurts her feelings by being mean (they are both 14). His daughter has made it clear that she does not want us there. My question is do we go or not go?

by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce 348 Posts
Posted on 4/17/2008 12:13 PM

Get Alerts!

send to friend

0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Tags: Partners Kids , Family Events

Answers for "Should I Go with My Boyfriend to a Family Event?" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

I think it is both an overflow of attitude from his ex and his daughter feeling that she is being "replaced" by my daughter. Whether that is how she really feels or because it is what her mother tells her she should feel, I am not sure. When we first tried to introduce them last May, we had this idea that they would get along great and that we would all go to Europe together. That idea was quickly put to rest!

Thanks for the encouragement to go!

by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce 348 Posts
Posted on 4/17/2008 5:42 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

I would go. Hie daughter is just going to have to get over it. Your daughter is going to have to try to win her over. Shame huh, they are the same age...might be step sisters and could be best friends.
More than likely some overflow of attitude from his ex?

by mtnvly 2291 Posts
Posted on 4/17/2008 5:29 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Thanks Vicki and bp. This whole thing has been weighing on me as I don't want to put my daughter in a situation where her feelings will get hurt and I also don't want to upset his daughter, and his parents once they see her upset, with my presence. At the same time, I feel like us not going sends her the message that if she is mean enough, she can make us go away. The really frustrating part is that she should like us! She has a lot in common with my daughter and with me if she would ever give us a chance.

by GirlfriendsGuidetoDivorce 348 Posts
Posted on 4/17/2008 5:13 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

"...go or not go..." - Definitely go because you and your daughter will enjoy the time with your boyfriend during this family event. The expectations of how you will received by his daughter are evident so you will be prepared for what might be an unpleasant interaction; and, who knows, maybe his daughter might surprise all with a different manner of behavior. Overall, it will reflect upon her what she says and does; as well as, for you and your daughter as you take a civil "high-road". Wish you well...

by bp 1201 Posts
Posted on 4/17/2008 3:21 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

they're the same age? you'd think that would be ideal, right? you know, if the mother is inviting you, i would do it. her daughter just needs more time to accept this it sounds like. sure sounds like an awkward evening to me.....but worth it ....for everyone to accept and move on.

by Vicki 854 Posts
Posted on 4/17/2008 3:06 PM

	0	Flag item :: Why are you flagging item: Submit \| Cancel

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

Should I Go with My Boyfriend to a Family Event?

help you budget and plan

definitions from "alimony" to "writ of execution"

divorce, custody and child support links by state

get help now

Community :: What do i do now :: Answers

Should I Go with My Boyfriend to a Family Event?

help you budget and plan

definitions from "alimony" to "writ of execution"

divorce, custody and child support links by state

get help now