Which man is best for me?

If a man exhibitied this exact behaviour he would be castigated.  I come home from work every day and cook dinner and do laundry after my stay at home girlfriend has been home with our infant all day.  SHe's too tired from breast feeding and never has time to do anything.  Not even exercise the dogs.  I'll never marry this woman.  I don't love her but i want my son to be well cared for.  That's why I'm not out drinking with friends and shagging my coworkers.  How selfish can you get?

THERAPY???????
There is no amount of therapy that is going to fix a lazy dad who obviously has no interest in taking good care of his children and tells the woman of his life that he "would just let her go"  That is outrageous and the fact that you come home EVERYDAY and clean up AFTER HIM even though you worked a full day is atrocious.  Also, by letting that kind of behavior from your husband continue what are you teaching your son about he is to behave with his wife in the future?????  He will act the same way because that is what he was taught.  Do not allow that to continue.  You are not a doormat.  I do agree that you should stay out of the affair right now as that will cloud your judgement.  But, if your husband is as bad as that, move on sister, for every guy that you ditch there are three more on deck.

Good grief. You've got yourself in a heck of a situation. First of all, you're playing with fire. You need to think about what you're saying. You are putting your marriage on the line for some guy you dance with?

Second, if your spouse is a stay-at-home dad and he makes no money, you'll end up paying him support. Do you really want that?

My suggestions --

1. Stop the affair. It's complicating your life and right now you need to deal with what's in front of you. And by the way, not a good idea to have your son hang out with the guy you're messing around with -- before you're divorced. And if you do get divorced, depending on the state you're in, this could be used in some way against you. If it can, do you really want that stuff dragged through a courtroom? Something to consider.

2. Get some therapy in your marriage if you really want to fix it. Sounds like you still have feelings there, even if you're angry with your spouse. Before you jumped into the affair, you should have finished this relationship first -- the one you're actually legally in.

3. Pay for someone to watch your kid and let your husband get a job. That way, if you do get divorced, you're not footing his bill because he can come after you for child support. You could mortgage your future if you continue this way.

4. Consider talking with a therapist yourself about why you're doing what you're doing. You've made it all or nothing with two different guys. What makes you think the second one is going to be all that now? Why do you have to have one to be happy? Sounds like you're pretty self-sufficient without them. But really, ask yourself, if you divorce and have to pay support to your spouse, will your dance partner still want to dance with you? I wonder.