I hope all is well and is going well with you. I am military and stationed in Georgia as well!!!!!! Anywho this is what I would do..........Ok well first off, did you know that adultery is punishable under military law? And if you have proof, well ......put it to good use. I am not saying go tell on him and get im in trouble, I would make him think those were my plans. Tell him that if you dont give your children what they deserve, then I will inform your command of this adultery. See what he say then, I gurantee you, he will start paying then!!!!!!!!! Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!

hey rache

You posted on my journal and I was going to tell you to tell him to pound sand (well, snow since he wants to go be an eskimo) and just file yourself.

Ignore 99% of his rants - that really is all they are. He's just trying to take the attention off of everything he's done wrong by trying to make you feel like crap.

You need to get something in place so that he is responsible for the support of the kids. Him wanting to wait for the one to drop off of support is rediculous - what if the oldest wants to go to college? He will still be responsible financially and if your child IS going to college - you had better ensure that he must pay for the child's higher education in the divorce settlement,

He has cheated on you, he has lied to you, he has bullied you trying to get you to agree to a settlement that was only to his advantage...send a clear message you are sick and tired of it - you have more important things to concern yourself with (the kids and your dad)

my best wishes on your father's health btw.

Thank you all for your responses they have been very helpful.  I have been so depressed about this whole situation that I have lost sleep.  I have decided to file myself and will take what I rightly deserve.  So again thank you to all of you for your support and encouragement.  Mostly the encouragement.

i would definately file, it sounds like he could be up to something.  Not sure what he has to gain, but i would move forward, quickly, as he probably has hired an attorney and has been planning some type of strategy with his legal team for a couple of months adn has already filed.  Sneaky bastards, why do divorces have to be so ugly,  especially when there are children involved, they carry wounds for the rest of their lives when they see mommy and daddy play mean.  Maybe you could call him and try to reason with him, ask questions to determine if he's being honest or just playing mental games with you.  This is not time for head trips when you're going through a divorce!  I think is in the list for the hardest things you can go through emotionally, followed by career change, buying a house, death, falling in love and moving to a new city.  I couldn't imaginge someone having to take on more than a few of those issues at once, how do they manage!  I've always said, when you're down, might as well deal with them all at once, what's the worst that could happen?  It won't kill you, well maybe kill your soul.

I would file. He could wait endlessly and drag it out until all the kids are grown. That is not fair to you.

I agree with Vickie. Once you decide your only option is to divorce, loyalty is out the window. This needs to be about you not him. Look out for you and your children first!