please help, wife talking to other men

Hello,
  I'm brand new here and will make this as short as possible.
My wife and I met in 2004 and married in july 05. I am white and she's hispanic. after we married, I messed up and partied a couple of times and it scared her. (drugs)
we seperated a few times but she forgave me. this last winter we were back together and we just could not get along. I am reminded of my mistakes daily and she is always quick to run to her mom's house if we have any argument at all. I was looking on her mysapace page and found she's been talking to an old friend (she says). few days before that she was talking to an ex on the phone and admitted it. but she said she didn't know if she wants a divorce. It crushed me to know she was having conversations with other men about us. I confronted her last night nad gave her the option to stop talking to these men or let's just divorce. was that right? we have 2 boys 2 & 3 and i miss them badly. I still love her very much and i believe she feels the same, we were very sexually compatible and i think that makes it harder. I don't believe she has physically cheated on me, but i feel she's gettin her ducks in a row. what should i do? also , isaw online where i can buy divorce papers and take them to my local courthouse. she is willing to allow us to work it out without loyars and all that crap, hoping it won't cost us alot. but i sense she really doesn't want a divorce. i haven't used any drugs or anything in a long time, but we just still argue. we both have bad tempers and are hardheaded. i can't take not knowing what she's talking about with these guys on the phone. any advice
ps she lives in dallas, tx and i live in texarkana, tx about 3 hours apart. she has the kids
thank you,
   patrick