Waiting for the next explosion

Queenb

I can totally understand what you are dealing with. My husband is bipolar. and our issues, (his rage) landed him in prison.  I pray daily that he snap out of it, but we all know that wont happen. its who he is. he takes his meds but his rage is still there, even now a year into his incareration he sits across the table from me with fists clenched telling me he wants to beat me!  At times I feel like he will break this curse, then at times I feel like its useless.  For 13 months I have driven 500 miles everyweekend to see him, I have written him every night, I have been 100000 percent faithful. Though he never was too me. 

If he is bi polar then you are in for a ride. Ups downs,  I love yous I hate yous........

just search your soul.... my book is His world, my hell, go to amazon  or barnes and noble

You don't mention whether you love him. Do you or are you just waiting it out? My sisterhas 4 grown children now and been remarried to a wonderful man for 26 years.
Her first husband was a SEVERE alcoholic. He mentally, and physically abused her. Ruined many a Christmas and Thanksgiving buy throwing the turkey up against the wall, pots and pans thrown all over the place, hitting her, terrifying the children. Her mother in law used to give her toilet paper for a Christmas present. Seriously, her life was hell. The catholic preist even suggested a divorce which is unheard of. She finally, by the grace of god, took her 4 young children and left his lame ass. She never looked back. She got involved with Al-Anon to help her get through this because believe me, she loved him. It seems sick but she did. Finally, a friend got her a house for a real cheap price that she rented, she got a job, started really raising her children and told me that first night was the first time in 15 years she felt at peace.
I will pray for all of you in this situation. I hope you can find your way out of this lifestyle. It is not healthy and YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS!
Good Luck to all!
Hugs to all!

I am sorry you are both in this situation. While my situation is different, I grew up with two alcoholic parents. I know all to well the torment of waiting for the explosion, and how to deal with the aftermath. I hope you are able to find your inner strength and know this is not your fault. Sending some ((hugs)) your way.

In a similar situation, wondering why I stay and put up with it.  It is more beligerence and annoyance than an explosion, followed by "I'm sorries" the next day.  I can think of a million and one reasons to leave, very few to stay, that make sense any way.. but yet here I am..  No one seems to understand why I haven't.  I am employed, making ok money, Not really sure of where I could go and afford. So yeah.. that is me Stuck and I guess just afraid...  :(  I hope you find the strength I am lacking, and I hope I do too.