Why do we do this?

An answer on a previous post got me thinking about this: why do we dwell on the good times once it's over when it would make the process seemingly so much easier to focus on the bad times? I know that when my soon-to-be-ex and I were still together, I would just lay in bed and think over all the bad things that had happened. It's partly what finally got me motivated enough to file for divorce. Now that I've filed and it's almost final I find myself missing the good times. Is this human nature???

by Jen333 6 Posts
Posted on 4/7/2008 2:09 PM

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Answers for "Why do we do this?" (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

I agree. Thinking about the good times is normal. Just as normal as thinking about the bad times. It trick is to somehow not to let the memories add more pain. This is where I have problems. Even thinking about good and bad times seems to make me take two steps back emotionally.

Good Luck to you.

by jkf 62 Posts
Posted on 4/7/2008 9:18 PM

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Jen I think it's part of the healing process. It hurts, but in a way it's like folding up the summer clothes and putting them in the closet. You look at each piece, then stack it in a pile. You may even look at something twice. It's ok. Let the thoughts come, they'll wash away when they're ready. The trick is to make new memories. and new friends. Each day is something new to build on.

You're doing good.

by Robert-Boyd 3874 Posts
Posted on 4/7/2008 9:06 PM

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I think it is something that everybody goes, through. I look at my kids and I know how how they love their dad, but I think of the bad times and how I just don't think I could do it for the kids anymore, I have great in-laws and even that is tough, but you have to think about your happiness too, and how much happier your kids may be if you are happier too. I think it may take a while, but you have to stay strong for your kids.

by Cruzer 17 Posts
Posted on 4/7/2008 3:15 PM

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