What should I do, wait in house or out the house

Hello everyone I'm back. Quick recap, I had an affair inwhich my wife found out in Nov07 and she had one in 2000. It's been 5 months and her response is still "she doesn't know if she wants a divorce, a separation and wants to work on herself" I Pseudo moved out in March08, sis's place and I was running back and forth to see the kids in addition to her asking me to come back. Now that I'm back and we're still in same unresolved, I'm getting frustrated and impatient. I'm not sure if she's trying to get her ducks in order, ie kids get out of school will be less hectic for her, we have 3 children 1,3 & 9, get to her desired weight level, she's been working out and shopping a lot or get this new high paying position that she applied to OR if she's really confused.. but after 5 months I would think you would know if you "want the marriage or not" I'm not saying it will not be a LONG difficult process but you should atleast no one way or another. I've tenative starting looking for a place.. Oh.. also when I'm out some times, she'll ask what time am I coming home, where was I etc but again, I'm not sure if this is sincere or an act just to keep me close until her plan, if she has one pans out... Women help me out. I'm not trying to be judgmental but it seems some womin can hide their emotions and have a diff agenda but pretend like everything is OK. Whistling, laughin, cooking dinner but still thinking else. Right now I chose to sleep in the spare bedroom b/c I can not sleep next to her fully knowing per her comment "she's physically and emotionally disconnected from me" Not sure how so, if she occassionally calls and check up on me or when we were in the bed, she'll hug me and let me hug/touch her. I dont know if she wants to continue teaching me a HARD LESSON or if something DRASTIC has to happen, ie me move out for real, to get a more definitive response one way or the other...

All sugg/advice welcomed!!