first time divorce i want custody but im the dad and i live in ohio, What are my chances?

I'd look up the laws on custody in your state. Things used to really swing the female's way in the past when it comes to custody, but there's been a lot of new law making that provide better situations for good fathers. I'd also get as much proof of the living conditions of your son in her household (pics, vids, etc..) with noted missed meals...forgotten diaper changes, all that. Present them as evidence at your mediation or hearing and do your best to not be hostile or nasty, just be matter of fact. A good friend of mine went thru this not too long ago, almost same situation, and he got his boy. Don't see how it won't work out for you too. I'm glad im not in your shoes my friend. I have a 4 yr old and an 8 month old, both boys. And although their mother is a great mom, I would stop at nothing for my little men. Best of it all to you bro!