I have to agree with most of the previous answers... it takes two to make a marriage work... obviously there is only one here... and he is confortable with things being the way they are so the ball in on your side of the court... get knowledgeable about your situation and contact a lawyer and get yourself ready to file a separation/ divorce. I think this should be the last resource... but in your case seems to be the only way. Good luck.

Hey, I feel your pain. I have a cheating husband, our 19 year old  daughter caught him at a restaurant/bar with a woman 25 years younger than him.  4 months later our 16 year old son tells me about Dad's girlfriend. These guys don't care about the kids !  My ex-husband has not seen our kids in two weeks, picked them up today, took them to the movies and slept thru it !!!  Move on, the only thing thing worse than a husband not caring about you, is a father not caring about his kids.  You sound like you have a level head - keep strong !!

Relationships are hard work at best.  First it takes 2 people who want the relationship (marriage) or there is nothing to work to/for.  Your husband has told you he does not want it to work.  Take him at his word, even though it hurts and you do not understand where he is coming from.  If he has a change of heart, he will come to you.  That may or may not happen.

Should your marriage dissolve are you preparing for single life?  Are you employed or have the skills to secure a job, transportation, childcare, living arrangements if you should need to move?  These are frightening issues, but possible reality.

You are in counseling which hopefully is helping you to sort things out.  You and your children deserve a husband/father whom you can depend on and who cares at least as much about your well being as his own.

Contact an attorney for the knowledge you need concerning financial/material assets.  This does not mean you must get a divorce, but you will know what your legal options are.  

Family, friends and this website are great resources.  Think about the last few months and ask yourself if this is how you want the rest of your life to be.  Only you can change it.

The worst thing about people, is that no matter how hard you try to understand them, you never will.  None of us think the same, and it's so hard to understand our own motivations, that there's just no way to get what makes somebody else do the things they do.

Yet, when we're married, we try so hard to do that with our partners.  When things are working, it can be a great help, but when things fall apart, we still try, and there is just no way.  Of course you don't understand him.  I don't either.  What he's doing seems wrong to me, but I doubt that either you or I will ever understand the "why"s. And even if we did, would it help?

 

Rhonda, he's having an affair.  He doesn't care if you know, and what's more he's told you he wants out.  You need to take that information and do what's best for you and your kids.  I don't support divorce, but if he's treating you this way and shows no desire to change, maybe you need to make the first step in moving on.  Talk to a lawyer, make sure that you and your children are protected.  It's like a band-aid.  It's always better to pull it off quickly, than to slowly tear it away.  It's going to hurt. But the immediate pain will be less substaintial to you and your children then a long drawn out process.  I will pray for you Rhonda.