bargaining just to break even

The house is her's, we each have our own vehicle, I have exactly what I brought into the mariage, what we bought or received as gifts together, I have left. I am thinking about just walking away from it all. There is some money that I put into her house for remodeling. The 401k's usually are split 50-50. That is the only thing I am after. I want the money I put into the house, and the 401k's split down the middle. EVERYTHING else, she can keep. Does this sound normal, or not normal? Do most people go for everything and then settle more towards the middle? If I do go after just the money part that I mentioned, what are the chances that I will still have to settle for less than what I want? I keep hearing people say to go for more, and that way it looks like your willing to let go and cooperate more, and then I will be able to have a better chance of getting the money back. What do you think?

by Shawn210 64 Posts
Posted on 3/5/2008 12:21 PM

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Tags: splitting assets

Answers for "bargaining just to break even" (8) (You must be logged in to answer)

My wife and I have been married for 20yrs this past Aug I am self employed and we have 2 Boys 16 and 13 -I just payed my home off with 25500.00 this past Summer My wife has a 401k from an old job but everything else I have invested ,Long story short she went out on me when my older Son was 1years old but I took her back and thought we have been doing ok up until she took this other job as a Janator which she makes about 13 an hr well nothing has been filed as of yet but she says she wants a devorce should take the Money out of the mutal funds that I have saved or leave it in there so she can suck have of it or all of it on lawyer fees any advice would be helpfull -I am not trying too sound mean here but she left me before with another man and moved in with him not thinking about our 1 yr old Boy I just feel she uses me for Money and suport

by jojo63 1 Post
Posted on 3/7/2008 12:39 PM

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There are lots of offices in TX. If you want you can go to www.edwardjones.com and do a search. I don't know anyone in that state personally (I'm in NY) but I'm sure they will be happy to answer your questions for you. Don't worry it's all for free.

Please note: I'm not trying to advertise here at all. I just find it relevant and sincerely wish to help.

by itmustbeme 422 Posts
Posted on 3/6/2008 11:51 AM

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I am in Texas

by Shawn210 64 Posts
Posted on 3/6/2008 10:25 AM

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As far as the 401K is concerned there is a way to roll it over as to avoid the tax and penalties. I work for Edward Jones Financial as a BOA, I am not licensed and therefore can not give you any specifics but please talk to a financial advisor about this. They will discuss it with you for free. What state are you in?

by itmustbeme 422 Posts
Posted on 3/6/2008 9:36 AM

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I feel your pain I`m going through it right now.After 12 years.We have a singel family house,a two family house and 1/2 acre of land,two kids 8+10 girls.She wants it all.I told my lawyer let her have it all he`s says no you worked to hard for this.I go to court next week for the divorce and find out what Ipay for child support.I all ready paid nine weeks of child support because I told my lawyer I dont want to be a dead beat dad,I also had to pay three months mortgage because she was not paying it for the singel family house.Then come`s my lawyer fee`s.I give up,but I will find out next week what is going to happen.

by steveo 218 Posts
Posted on 3/5/2008 5:34 PM

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i agree, i dont want to negotiate, I just want what i put into the house, and 401k's split down the middle. I am not asking for any materialistic kind of stuff. All the furniture I had when we met, she actually got rid of it and bought new stuff over the last couple of years, she had NOTHING except a bed, armoire, nightstand.
which I had too, she just got rid of that first thing. I did hear something about 401k's and early withdrawal, if I want half, I will actually end up with alot of penalties, and so forth, so I need to ask for more than half. Does anyone know about this?

by Shawn210 64 Posts
Posted on 3/5/2008 3:26 PM

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I am having this exact same difficulty. Everyone is telling me to go for more so we can negotiate. I am like you, I don't want to negotiate, let me make a fair offer and the other person take it. This is going to depend on the amicability of your divorce. I told my husband flat out, "here is what I want, take it or we'll go to court with attorneys and I'll ask for everything." I am asking for virtually nothing so I feel confident in that statement. I can't tell you if you are right or wrong; just wanted you to know you aren't alone.

by itmustbeme 422 Posts
Posted on 3/5/2008 1:11 PM

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When I left, I walked away from everything but the furniture I had before we got married and the credit card bills he'd racked up -- worth tens of thousands. It took years to pay it off. But it was worth every penny. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. No matter how much the financial cost, it was worth my sanity. I wouldn't suggest that for everyone, but I would say, if that's what it comes down to -- sanity wins out every time.

by Flagirl 288 Posts
Posted on 3/5/2008 1:08 PM

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