okay so, two weekends ago, my wife called and asked if we could talk.  she came over and said she was open to working things out, but she was going to stay at a friends house for the time.  Prior to this, she was staying at her ex's since Christmas and was driving my car because hers is not running, and hasn't been for many months now....i had told her repeatedly that if she was going to stay with him, she needed to give me my car back (my name is the only name on the car's title, and i was paying insurance on it.)  She kept telling me that she didn't have the money to get her car fixed and i was just going to have to wait....now i know damn well, that if i was living with my ex, there is now way she would stand for that. 

Anyway, one of the reasons that we seperated was because i was suspicious of her for awhile...she never had her phone ringer turned up, and was always very protective of it.  when i would question her about it, she would tell me i was being paranoid.  now keep in mind that they were texting back and forth for some time ( i know because i had seen many or those texts), and she had admited that they were talking again....only after i confronted her about it though)  and she would always flip out when she found out i had looked in her phone, but i would tell her "go ahead and look in my phone...i don't have anything to hide)  she would get mad and tell me that i didn't trust her, but c'mon why was she beeing so secretive about things.  she always had an excuse to have to go out friday nights, and why she was always late getting home.  sometimes she wouldn't come home, and would tell me that she fell asleep at a friends house....so when i would say, "well, you wouldn't mind if i called them and ask them about it then"  she would flip out and tell me that i had no right to involve them in what was going on with us.  quite frankly, i had never met any of these people (other than her sister)  and really didn't believe her, and it affected every aspect of our marriage.I couldn't be intimate with her, because i just didn't believe her about things...even little things like wether bills got paid or not, because utility companies would call and say that they never received payments, parking tickets for my car that she was driving (the letters came in my name because it is my car) and she would tell me that she paid them.  i just couldn't buy into any of it anymore, and it was really affecting how i felt about her. 

so we seperated, and she was going back and forth about wanting to try again.  then a few weeks ago, i told her on the phone that i had called a garage about a motor for her car and gave her a price.  two days later she called and said that she had talked to her mom and they both thought it was too much.  so two days later i ran into her mom, and we got to talking and her mom said that she thought the price was reasonable...so there was another untruth.  keep in mind that she was telling everybody in her life something different about what she was doing, and i was finding out about it.  she lied to her dad when she was staying with him, and told him she was going to come back here to try to work things out.  he called a few days later, and asked if she came back, and i told him no she is staying with her ex....so he confronted her about it, and she got pissed off at him, and stormed out, saying something about how nobody believes her and she has no support. 

so, fast forward to two weeks ago....she calls and says she has been thinking about things, and was open to taking things slow, and for the time being she was going to stay at a friends house.  she asked if she could come over and do some laundry, and talk.  we talked about things, and i said that they only way things would work is if we were open and honest about everything that has gone on, and that she needed to cut her ex out completely.  i asked her if she was willing to do that and she said yes....i really thought we were getting somewhere.  she asked about doing our taxes together, and i said i was somewhat hesitant about it at the moment...she then said she was thinking about only being at her friends for a couple weeks, and gave me this whole story about how she had stayed at a hotel the one night because she didn't have anywhere else to go.  so, at this point i felt bad about things, and said that if she was serious about taking things slow, i would do it with her.  we had dinner that night, had dinner the next night, and then she went to her friends...keep in mind she still had my car.  she called the next night, and we talked for over an hour...she said she would call the next night, and never did.  i let it go, but was wondering why she didn't call....if you say you are going to do something do it!!  then the next day, she showed up at my work on my lunch break and i sat and talked with her..she wanted to know about the taxes, and said she was going to get new tires on my car that night,and that she would call.  well, she called while she was waiting on the car, but mentioned a few times about how it was so expensive for new tires, but whatever she should just take care of the car that was running before worrying about her car getting fixed.  i asked her why she never called the night before, and she said she was busy.  the next day, she texted me and asked how the roads were since it had snowed the night before...i said they were okay, and to give me a call later that night...she said okay.  so that night, i waited around and no call.  so i texted her a few times...nothing....called...nothing.  iv'e seen this before and had a feeling something was up.  so, got in my dad's truck (which i had been driving the whole time) and went to the hotel that she said she had stayed at the week before....sitting in the parking lot where my car, and her ex's vehicle.  i was so pissed, and had had enough.  i called her brother, who has been telling me a need to file, and asked him if i could pick him up so we could go get my car.  so we went and got it, he drove it to my parents house to drop it off, and i took him home.  when i got home, i called her again....nothing.  so i called her ex's phone...i had the number committed to memory, and got his voicemail....i left a message saying "since you two are together right now you can tell her that i have my car, and all her shit that was in my car is now in her car in my garage" 

15 minutes later, she calls and skes what's up...so i told her...she asked how i knew where she was, and i said " i just had a feeling"  asked who went with me to get the car, i told her that i called her brother.  she flipped saying that i need to stop involving her family in our shit....i told her i called her numerous times that night, and she said she never got any of the calls or texts....so am i to really believe that technology didn't allow those messages to go to her phone?  especially when she has used that excuse before?  i told her i was tired of getting dicked around, and had enough. 

so as of now, she has no vehicle to get to work (that i know of..though i'm sure she is getting there somehow)  i did what i needed to do for myself, even if it meant being an asshole.  i mean, her mom has even told me that i need to take the fishhook out of my mouth, but i just hoped that things would work out for us....now i just don't see it happening though.  it's not like this is the first time she has done this, and i feel like she was just trying to take advantage of me.  i just can't take not being able to belive her, because i wanted to for so long. 

does anyone have any thoughts on this, or have they been in a situation like this?  any advice is greatly appreciated.