Dating too Soon...

I was served december 10, (temporary-orders). I did not want the divorce, I love my wife, and still am deeply hurt by it all. I am just wanting opinions on when is it too soon to try and start dating again? Would it be in poor taste to date already?

Now the reason I ask is not that I want to start dating, however, we have mutual friends and those friends are wanting me to start dating and move on. I have found out that most of "our" friends are not real happy with her and how she went about everything, surprise divorce, cleaning out bank account, trying to get these friends to take her side, and so forth. But just thinking about dating makes me sick, maybe its because I hope she is not dating, which I know she is not. I think it would make me feel as if im cheating on her, even if she did file and say she wanted the divorce. So what is the majority opinion on something like this?

by Shawn210 64 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2008 9:58 AM

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Tags: dating , friends , too soon ,

Answers for "Dating too Soon..." (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

Shawn, You'll find so many different opinions on this site about dating. I say wait until the divorce is finalized, others say get right out there! Here's the bottom line, you need to be squared away with yourself first before you even start dating. You say you're still deeply hurt, that's not the time to date. Wait for a while. You've got good friends, and it sounds like they have your best interest in mind. Still, wait, dating now will only confuse things.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have been there. MyUnwife told me she wanted out 1 year ago. She moved out in August, and our divorce is in process. I know all about wanting to date. Hang in there.

by Robert-Boyd 5134 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2008 2:37 PM

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i wouldn't date....it doesn't sound like you want to...and you shouldn't want to really. you state you don't even want to divorce....why would you want to date. i think your friends mean well...they want to help...but bringing another person into this picture wil only hurt that person right? there are other ways to move on. try counseling or hanging out with your friends more or finding a new hobby or interest..or volunteering....volunteering is a great way to stay busy.

by sheri 103 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2008 11:05 AM

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Divorce is a painful slow process. You have feelings you need to work through such as the shock, denial, anger, hurt and many other emotions that will come up. You need to get to know yourself again and learn from your marriage so you can be a better partner then maybe you were this time and that takes time. You need to get your divorce finalized and then take some time off. I guess there is no exact measure you can use to determine when to start dating again but you say you don't want the divorce and still love her. Don't you think you need to get over her before you start something with someone else right now?
Rebound relationships are ususally not good.

by Linny 152 Posts
Posted on 2/26/2008 10:22 AM

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