Mom's leaving

So, how's this for irony..  I joined this site because of my parents problems.  Now my own marriage is in trouble!
My DH has been having an online affair on "Second Life" with a woman in Switzerland.  I had suspected something for a while and finally installed monitoring software on his computer.  At first he denied, I told him I was leaving.  Next day he begs me to stay, says he doesn't know what's wrong with him, maybe a midlife crisis or something.  OK... so I stay... then less than a week later, I check the monitor and sure enough, he's still at it.  I call him on it and tell him I'm leaving.  He deletes the Second Life program from his computer and swears he doesn't love her (even though I saw him tell her repeatedly that he does) that he loves me, and begs me to stay.  I tell him we have to get counseling and he agrees.  I have to admit that my libido has been seriously lacking for some time do to early onset of pre-menopause and screwed up hormones.  So I also tell him that I will get to the dr to figure out what we can do about ME.  I also tell him he has to tell this woman he doesn't love her, that he loves his wife.  He did tell her that he was leaving second life forever and working on his marriage. 
I no longer trust him and I told him such.  I have one foot out the door.  So far he hasn't had anymore contact with her, unless via cell phone.  I'm not sure about that either.  He changed our billing to no longer include incoming/outgoing phone calls and numbers.   

Well have to see what happens here....  I'm just so hurt...

So much has happened since my original post. All of the dirty laundry is coming out now.

Mom left last Friday.  We went on a short road trip to get her out of town, me, my sister and my aunt (mom's sister).  We found out that my mom is in love with someone else and plans to marry him when her divorce is final.  That's not the worst of it.... He is in prison for child molestation.  He has her convinced that he is innocent.  We are worried sick about her. She is so gullible, she believes everything that he tells her.

Dad has his suspicions that she has fallen for someone else.  She has been writing prisoners (15 of them) for some time now.  My brother is in prison and that's how this whole thing started with writing them.  She is a devout christian and considers this her "ministry".  Dad came right out and asked me "do you think she's fallen for one of these guys?"  I had to lie to him, I said "i don't know, dad".  I just feel awful about this.  Dad is being so calm, nothing like we expected.  I feel so bad for him.  I don't know what to do.  I can't even tell my husband about mom's situation because i don't want to put him in the same situation I'm in right now.  He can't lie to my dad, they have a good relationship.

This prisoner.. i found a personal ad online that he placed after he told my mom that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.  I have found a way, through the website hosting his ad, to write to him using a fake name, and an anonymous address, and i have sent him a letter to see if he will "romance" me. Then I can show mom that he doesn't really love her and just using her.  Waiting for his response.  Mom is 62 and this jerk is younger than me... 42 years old.

I am also thinking about contacting the warden at the prison to have his letters to my mother blocked.  I'm sure this is going to upset my mother.  She may get very angry with me for getting involved.  I'm so afraid she will actually marry this creep.

I know this is tough.  I would not feel comfortable about the deceit.  Why can't your parents sit down and talk about this reasonably. He will need your support as well and might even be more understanding if he sees that you and your sister are supporting him as well.  If he feels he is being "ganged" up on he might not help your mom out as much. She needs to seek advice from an attorney right away to make sure she is handling this correctly. Keep me posted on what happens.