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  Posted to group - What do i do now    <<Previous    Next>>

She came to the US, got knocked up, and 3 months later goes back to her country. NO MORE TRUST, Now she wants to come back. What to do?

*my wife marina is from portugal. *she came to try living and working here and got pregnant the first day here after telling me she couldnt. *her mood swings were erratic and difficult to live with and she insists to get married and stay to work.* we get married but she is extremely angry and difficult to live with and compromises my job * month 5 she throws a fit (because I was an hour late working on friday) so she gets angry and spends the night at my friends house. * next morning she changes her airline ticket to go home. * Now she cant return until we have a visa.  My son was born in her country 6 months ago and will be 1 year old by the time we get her visa and I haven't been with him.  I can't think or concentrate, I am now unemployed and dont even want to look for work because I am so upset and depressed by the whole thing.  Even concentrating on the paperwork is too hard for me.she doesn't want a divorce but I'm more miserable than ever thinking about it.  Should I? 

by angelfish21   1 Post 
Posted on 7/7/2012 10:42 PM
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Answers for "She came to the US, got knocked up, and 3 months later goes back to her country. NO MORE TRUST, Now she wants to come back. What to do?"  (3) (You must be logged in to answer)




Let's get one thing straight...she didn't get "knocked up".  YOU BOTH got pregnant.  Usually, without the help of a sperm donor and a turkey baster, getting pregnant takes two people. 

 

No one stood over you with a razor blade to your balls and forced you to have sex with her.  No one stood with a shotgun pointed at your head and forced you to say "I do."  YOU WERE AN EQUAL PARTICIPANT IN THIS FIASCO.  So stop trying to blame it all on her.  I bet you had a great time making that kiddo.

 

I can tell you the exact moment I got pregnant with two out of three of my kids, and two were on the first attempt without birth control.  Although she may have deceived you, you don't get out of your parental responsibilities.

 

You need to consult an attorney to see what your options and obligations are.  You may not want to stay married to her.  You may want to have a paternity test as suggested.  But please, if you are the father, rise to the occasion and be a GREAT father.  There is nothing so precious in this world as a child.  Until proven otherwise, that bay is YOURS to care for.

 

by Iam   7168 Posts
Posted on 7/7/2012 11:42 PM
1





Let's get one thing straight...she didn't get "knocked up".  YOU BOTH got pregnant.  Usually, without the help of a sperm donor and a turkey baster, getting pregnant takes two people. 

 

No one stood over you with a razor blade to your balls and forced you to have sex with her.  No one stood with a shotgun pointed at your head and forced you to say "I do."  YOU WERE AN EQUAL PARTICIPANT IN THIS FIASCO.  So stop trying to blame it all on her.  I bet you had a great time making that kiddo.

 

I can tell you the exact moment I got pregnant with two out of three of my kids, and two were on the first attempt without birth control.  Although she may have deceived you, you don't get out of your parental responsibilities.

 

You need to consult an attorney to see what your options and obligations are.  You may not want to stay married to her.  You may want to have a paternity test as suggested.  But please, if you are the father, rise to the occasion and be a GREAT father.  There is nothing so precious in this world as a child.  Until proven otherwise, that bay is YOURS to care for.

 

by Iam   7168 Posts
Posted on 7/7/2012 11:42 PM
1





Should I what? Get a paternity test? Yes. She really got pregnant on her first day here? Wow. Get a divorce? I would get the results of test first. If you have lived apart this long, I don't think it is fair to either of you to make that decision yet. Pregnancy can do awful things to women, some worse than others.

You'd better get moving and get a job for two reasons. First off, you have a baby you need to feed regardless of where he lives. Secondly, it will get you focused on something positive, rather than dwell on the past. Work is good for the soul.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
by JustMe4Now   2154 Posts
Posted on 7/7/2012 10:50 PM
1







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