divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.


Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
You can search for Answers by tag here:

Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here
where do I start
Our checklists are a great place to start. Or, get a quick review of your state's divorce laws with our Legal Cheat Sheet.
  Posted to group - What do i do now    <<Previous    Next>>

What do you do when you have no job, no college and no way to get out of a miserable marriage?!

things havent always been perfect, but no relationship is, but this last winter, it got bad enough i know there is no turning back, my husband( of 5 years) has always been responsible with money and paying bills... until our house payment went up because of taxes, and we were unable to make our house payments, only problem... he was lying to me about making the payments for 3 months... we had a rental property and regardless of getting rent payments, he had stopped paying on BOTH houses... i had to find this out from a certified letter in the mail, and he finally had to admit he was lying and we were losing both homes,i flipped out, cussed yelled... said i wanted a divorce, and felt like my entire world had crumbled out from under me, just from one letter.... i was 4 months pregnant with our 3rd child, and after i yelled at him for lying to me, he started putting a password on his phone, going out all the time and not coming home, refusing to answer texts or calls and told me its none of my f*ing business where he is at.... i finally found cell records he was talking to a co worker nonstop texting every minute of his shift, and at home.. anywhere, from 11am until 6am the next day, there was maybe 5 hours out of a day that they WERENT texting... but yet i got told they are just friends and im acting like a psycho going through the phone bill, so he kicked me off the account since hes the account holder, i said all this behavior adds up to, is your doing things you shouldnt be and you are cheating, i am not an idiot and can see right through this.. now. 7 months later, he still insists that he never did anything and i still can not believe him, i said if you can lie to me about making our house payments, you can lie to me about cheating.... i am stuck, i havent worked in almost 2 years, because we had agreed if we had more kids i would stay home with them because daycare is so expensive, but now he has become a verbally abusive jerk, i get yelled at that i dont contribute anything, i am a piece of s*** mom, i dont do anything, i dont work... and yet whenever i try to go back to work... he tells me, its a waste because daycare would cost too much, it is a lose lose situation and i deseprately need out but i literally have nowhere to go, and no help, no family, and no job... we had to file for bankruptcy ontop of all this....

by elynn54   2 Posts 
Posted on 6/4/2012 5:22 AM
Get AlertsGet Alerts!
Sent to Friendsend to friend


Answers for "What do you do when you have no job, no college and no way to get out of a miserable marriage?!"  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

Sounds almost identical to how my husband treated me.  It seemed impossible and for 2 years I went back and between trying to make it work and feeling trapped.  Finally, I got a job.  Looking at the big picture is soooo daunting and everything seems so impossible.  Just take baby steps.  One thing at a time.  Try to find a "sliding scale"counselor that will work for free also...even if your husband makes good money if you tell them your situation they would provably make an exception for you. They can often get you n touch with lawyers who work for cheap or free.  There are some out there.  Good luck.  I went from stay at home mom with no education to working mom in 3 months, and finally able to afford my own place and daycare and everything at 9 months.  Remember he owes you spousal and child support too, and even before you're divorced you can get temporary orders.
by Isolated   6 Posts
Posted on 6/21/2012 5:17 PM

Please get an attorney, and always get support from people who really care.
by bklyn   1 Post
Posted on 6/15/2012 8:04 AM

Peace and Blessings,

I agree with the rest of our comrades here.  You need to get an attorney ASAP!  This sounds like a feat but it can be done.  Don't let the fact that you have no money or etc. to convince to you remain in a stuck position.  You can get out of this by making some strategic moves. 

Hopefully you can find an attorney who is empathetic to your situation and who would allow you to give him a retainers fee and work out the details when things are finalized.  If not, stratigize your next move. 

School should not be an option but a necessity.  At least you will have student aid money to get you started with an education and a little left over to keep moving forward.  Don't stop there! 
Start looking for any type of employment, in case you are not psychologically ready to start school. 

Make a plan and then start setting that plan in motion.  Let your family and friends know what's going on.  You'd be surprise who would be more than happy to help you through this. 

You are not defeated!  Take the bull by the horns and ride sally ride!  You can do this, it's all in you!
by psycho   214 Posts
Posted on 6/6/2012 8:12 PM

Ditto what Iam said -- get an attorney asap. They can help you sort out particulars, and you're going to take things one step at a time. You don't have to have every detail figured out NOW. I'm sorry for what you're going through.
by RiverTam   941 Posts
Posted on 6/4/2012 8:39 AM

Elynn, if you truly want to pursue a divorce, you need an attorney. 


There is no doubt he was cheating on you.  When someone spends time, money, emotion, and effort outside the marriage, it steals from your marriage.  It is an affair whether there is sex or not.  And he was cheating on you.  Where was the rent going?  Where was the regualr house payment going?  Sounds like he and co-worker were living it up, or he is squirreling away resources for his exit plan.


You have three kiddos, at least two properties, and a lying spouuse.  You need a good attorney.

by Iam   7316 Posts
Posted on 6/4/2012 7:37 AM

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

divorce Community::
popular blogs
get/give answers
expert Q&As
Faith Therapy : Does a Separation Work?
My Husband and I Are Having Trouble. Is It a Good Idea for Us to Separate?...read more 

Stress Relief: Tips to Help after Separation
Mental Health: Overwhelmed by Changes in Household Routine. What Should I do?...read more 

About Law: Do Divorce Kits Work?
Legal: What You Should Consider When You Think About Divorcing Using a Kit...read more 

expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. 14 Real Life Ways To Save Money
Do Divorce And Money Mix?

2. You Just Found Out They Cheated, Now What?
8 Things You May Not Know About Cheating

3. African-Americans and Marriage
African-Americans are Less Likely to Marry and More Likely to Divorce, Studies Show

4. Don't Get Even...Get Mad
Yes, Anger Can Save Your Relationship. Here's How.

5. Dr. Romance: Boundaries with your Ex
Tips to Help if your Ex is Doing Things that Make You Feel Used, Resentful