Online stalking by ex

Gregory, if I drank beer, it would be the other way around. She would buy me the 20 oz and thank me for teaching him the tough lesson of consequences!!!  Do you notice how forward-thinking I am to assume he will turn himself around -that is the positive thinking that kept me in the relationship, ugh! 

That is the attitude to have. I remember in the beginning of my mess how they would try and humilate and hurt me. I remember during an exchange of our youngest son how I walked into the convenience store and bought a 40 ounce and gave it to her boyfriend and looked that idiot in the eye and thanked him for doing the biggest favor anybody has ever done for me.

You can only imagine the look on their faces it was priceless.

" I'm happy that someone else is nursing the infant, and I'm happy, even if it means that I'm alone until I'm 99 and 3/4."  I absolutely LOVE this 'tude !!!  It is so close to home lol - I even called a woman he was chasing and begged her to take him in lmao !  And we've only been separated a month and I already feel that it is no skin off my back ti be alone until I'm 999!!!  This community continues to bring me joy, laughter, and support  - I am so glad you signed up because you've bettered my world :)

Oh Gregory. He's found her already. He was sleeping with her within four months after my escape. I'd say more, but like I've told others, the rest of the story is tawdry and ridiculous, and I'm moving ahead with my life. I'm happy that someone else is nursing the infant, and I'm happy, even if it means that I'm alone until I'm 99 and 3/4. 

Oh yeah Please screen shot this .|.. and while he's doing that he can kiss my )(

The only screen shot this clown needs is one of him wearing a pamper around his waist. I will for the life of me never understand why a grown man who had he acted like a grown man would still have his wife and family together.

This man needs to grow a set and man up for his part in the breakdown of his marriage and go on down the road and seek professional help so if he ever is able to find another lady he will have the wisdom it takes to make a family thrive rather than starve it of the joy that is needed to make it work.

Thanks, Dactyl, yeah, it's been a long journey, hasn't it? I look back at where I was this time last year, and it seems like I'm a completely different person.
I've decided to be at peace with this particular situation, knowing that I've posted things to receive support and that my conscience is clear. Whatever he reads or "screen shots" or derives, I can't control. I'm not caring about it anymore.

I find it rather disturbing, yet humorous that he still needs to keep tabs on you, ya know? I guess I don't get that thought process....but, then, you and I are normal people. He would really have to work hard to even convince a judge that what he has is you. There are no names used. I'm glad you had that revelation. it shows to me that you are on your way to healing! {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks, Mike.
He is in charge of an IT department for a local government health organization, so that is not far-fetched.
However, about a year ago, my lawyer and I discerned that possibility. I bought a new notebook and have installed spyware on it ever since. Of course, anything is possible -- like opening an email that releases spyware into your computer. But I've taken as many precautions as I think I can.
In this case, I think he has always had a friend who has followed me on this site and others and who has helped him put the pieces together logically.
At any rate, I'm done "hiding" on the Internet. I won't be intimidated anymore, and I think that this recent revelation this week has made me realize that I've crossed a new bridge in self-assurance.
Actually, this is all very empowering.

Your husband is sure a real stalker.....

I fully agree that his "screenshots" of this account, even if he could prove it was you, are completely useless in court.  They could, however, be useful in strategizing with his lawyer about how to negotiate with you.

More worrisome:  The only way he could know for sure this is your account is if he has access to your computer or spy software on it. He could certainly narrow it down based on state, age, kids, etc. and probably figure it out by reading the content of your posts, but he couldn't prove it. 

You might want to check your computer for spyware.  If you don't know how, get tech support.

That's really helpful to know, thank you so much.

Hey.  I just want to share my story (and I know that legally every state/county/judge is different, but...) My ex posted about me, posted on my personal social media pages, blogged about me (he DID use recognizable indicators) put up pictures of me, etc., etc.  Thing is, these days people are terrified of cyber-stalking/cyber-bullying, in adults as well as children.  So, save every proof you have and get it to your atty.  My atty took what I had, added it to the in-person stalking and had it ready to go in front of a judge so fast, even MY head was spinning.  They really do take it seriously these days.  Just saying, if it progresses to more than just him taking a screenshot, there are things you can do about it.

Again- that's just my experience.

I kind of hope my ex reads this so he knows how I REALLY feel without me having to be all unladylike, bless his heart...

Awesome =)

Great attitude....

oh and bitsy's stbx, when you read this...

screen shoot this....

PBHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Thanks, I actually did that last summer when he found out my first account name. He's a very determined individual, isn't he?
Anyway, I thought about changing the name AGAIN, but then I realized ... this is part of his ongoing need for control over me, which he lost when I escaped from him. 
So if he wants to read my page, if he can't move past his own life and needs to stay up with mine, I will not let him intimidate me, and I will not allow myself to be isolated once again from a community on which I rely. His goal during the marriage was to always isolate me from others. This is another form of that type of manipulation -- to find out my identity so that I lose contact with those who have supported me.
It supports his bullying, so I'm standing up to him. Let him try to prove it's me. And like all of you said earlier, nothing can be disproven that I've written --it's my opinion of the situation. I've done nothing wrong. I sleep at night with a clear conscience.

no judge will take it as any evidence anyway...your name isn't there, his name isn't there, he can't prove it is you...he just assumes...and you haven't said anything that isn't true in your own mind anyway...

if you still find comfort in our site my suggestion to you is to start a new account, with a brand new e-maill account only used for D360, and change up your details a bit....you can PM people you know (and trust) that hey this is "bitsy" under a new name...

All of you rock. Thanks. I feel calmer now.

Potential employers, current employers,opposing attorneys - each are examples of who discover things about you by using what is called social media.  Divorce 360, Facebook, Twitter, etc- these are all social media and are not protected by privacy laws. So far, the social media sites are subject to being seen by anyone and everyone. Your laptop, emails, texts are all subject to being "discovered" and reviewed by his attorney.  Unfortunately, your stbx can "discover" what any other member of the public can discover about you via online searches.  The internet (or e-discovery as its called) is a whole new area that is being litigated. For now, there is no expectation of privacy when you post your feelings online. Warning to others: posting pictures, comments, personal information, etc. - these also are subject to review by everyone in the world so exercise appropriate discretion.  I personally feel bad that you have this feeling of being watched/monitored. Just breathe through it, and understand that you are here on this site to obtain support from well-meaning folks with the intent to help you form conscientious plans to make the best of this for your child(ren).

Think of it this way. You've told people on here what a butthead he is. Well, if asked you can say "yes, I think he's a butthead. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it". You've posted about the idiotic things he's done. Again "that's my opinion and I stand by it". What's he gonna do? Pull out the "she's being mean to me to people I don't even know" law? Please. Stop fretting. He's trying to rattle you and he's succeeding. However, if he continues with the harassment you could always apply for a no contact order. Cite the numerous malicious texts and emails he's sent, and whatever phone calls/voice mails you have. Then hammer him with it every time he makes any kind of crappy assed remark to you. The only contact you need with him is when it's his parenting time, or if there is an emergency involving the kids. Otherwise, he can go have aerobatic intercourse with a revolving perforated pastry...........Zen Hugs

Taking screen shots from a public forum is certainly not illegal as there can be no expectation of privacy.  Posting here is no different than posting on facebook.  Once posted here, it becomes a part of a public domain.  Now text messages and emails are not posted where just anybody who happens along can read them.  They are private and many courts have held them to be such.  Besides, unless he can prove what your screen name is and that your posts clearly show that you are an unfit parent, haven't been truthful in disclosure, or have been hiding assets; then why would the court realistically care.  Sometimes it's easy for us to let our spouses get to us with things that seem major at the time, but in the courtroom appear as nothing more than a minor nuisance by one party.

What could he possible have screen shots of from here that the judge would care about? He's an ass... Let's see... you posted that you enjoyed making your new place a home, that you have concerns for your son and that he's an idiot. I say let him share it.  No one will care and he doesn't have a point. Ugh... Sorry you have to deal with him...

PM Spaznskitz.