Still upset

Hi there. You lost 48 hours of liberty in your your life because of someone else's malice.  It is awful that it happened, and you are okay to feel angry and hurt and powerless.  I am sorry that you were the object of an act of malice.  Breathe through it. You are now a part of a community that can comfort and support you after such an outrage.  Perhaps you can look at this and decide to cut your losses at losing 48 hours of liberty. Why lose even another minute "tied" (more loss of liberty)  to that outrage and your anger?   I cannot convey my tone via email, but I am sincerely understanding of your outrage. I would love to see you breathe through the anger and powerlessness, and dust yourself off because you are strong and capable and you have the power to move on. If it will help to free you from your natural and normal and acceptable outrage, there are names of people who lost their lives because of someone else's malice. In dealing with grief and anger, there was a quote i read in my teen daughter's book: "The only way to get over it is to go through it." I pray for you and hope you heal/find peace quickly. Based on the strength you show in your posting, I believe you will.....

Hi Wendy,

 

I'm sorry you have to be here.  It's not usually under "good" circumstances.

 

Six years ago, my ex decided he wanted a divorce and hired a scum-bag, bottom-feeding lawyer.  I know he was these things because he had been reprimanded by the bar twice for his behavior, and three of his former clients were suing him.  So, in order to try to avoid having to pay child support, my ex accused me of abuse.  I have never abused my kids...in fact, I tend to be way too permissive with them.  But I was forced to see a counselor, a report was made to child services, and I carried a voice activated recorder with me at all times in case the ex tried any more shit. 

 

The DA never pursued any action.  The ex later said he only did it because the attorney advised him to.   (This coming from a guy who threw a golf club at our kid, missed, and put one hell of a dent in my minivan.) 

 

After the divorce, while we were still somewhat "amicable", my oldest son was having serious drug, porn, and criminal issues.  My internet provider had sent me a letter threatening prosecution if the illegal activity on my IP address didn't stop.  I went to talk to the ex about it.  While I was at his house I saw my oldest had taken my laptop, MY LAPTOP,  and was using it to commit his crimes.  I took the laptop away and a fight ensued.  I threw the laptop on the floor, thinking if I couldn't take it, at least I could stop the kiddo. 

 

Well, I got arrested.  The police have no say...it's law that if a 911 call is made, someone is going to jail.  The DA dismissed the case, but still...I neither trust nor like my ex.  My (son has since gone through drug treatment and military school and is doing much better.)  The ex is still a porn-addict whose main source of motivation is getting laid.  Oh, he will also try and screw me out of every last dime he owes me. 

 

I can't change him.  I know he's a stupid rat's ass bastard.  But I love my kiddos, all of them, and I am so fortunate my son got the help he needed.  I have

no, your beef is not with the sheriff, when you get arrested isn't their call, it is the DA's....if it took them 8 months to decide the case had merit enough to pursue a warrant for, I'm sorry to say, they are well within that right.

The RO and the charge are two seperate things, An RO is a civil action, a charge is criminal. The fact the RO was dropped is irrelevant.

there was no wrongful detention, it sucks it took that long for your state to deal with it, but this kind of thing happens when there is a backlog...

I'm not a lawyer.  But it seems to me there is some confusion about the "mandatory 48" in NC.  What the law says is, a judge needs to set bond in DV cases.  If a judge is not available (court not in session), then after 48 hours a magistrate must set bond.

However, I see several references on the internet stating that in a DV case, a "48 hour hold" is mandatory.  This may be the way the law is handled, but not the way it was written.

In either case I personally agree that to arrest you 8 months after the supposed incident is ridiculous.  The purpose of the law is immediate protection for the alleged victim, not automatic punishment for the supposed aggressor.  The sheriff's office is either incompetent or clueless or both. 

You could file a wrongful detention lawsuit against the sheriff, maybe.  No idea if you'd have a shot. Probably not, since the law is in place to curb domestic violence and they will err on the side of safety.

But your beef is with the sheriff, not your ex.