please help

My husban said to me he is no longer in love with me and wants a divorce, he has in the past cheated on me (which I took him back) now he wants to end it . He has some how come up with a number which he thinks is fair around 20k for me and my son (previous relationship) , my husban make way more money then I do , he has money in 401k , retirement funds, savings accounts, plus he ownes a few properties (that he rents out) we have been together for almost 10 years I have been with him since the start when he had nothing , he said he doesn't want to go to lawyers because they will take all the money I would be getting , but I don't think he is giving me my fai sharer

by veryclueless 51 Posts
Posted on 2/19/2008 2:35 PM

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Tags: begining , deciding , process , ongoing

Answers for "please help " (7) (You must be logged in to answer)

In the state of PA do you need to be legalley separtated for any amount of time before you can proceed with divorce papers?

by veryclueless 51 Posts
Posted on 3/23/2008 1:20 PM

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Wow, you really need to do you homework. His not being fair at all. You should be getting at least 1/2 of everthing. Don't take his offer at all. Get professional help.

by jolie245 6 Posts
Posted on 2/21/2008 5:26 PM

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I agree with everyone's responses, you deserve much more than what he is offering. You shoule try for half of ALL assets, properties, equity in home, etc. don't settle until you have an attorney on your side.

by Barkley 912 Posts
Posted on 2/19/2008 7:47 PM

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I know exactly how you feel. My husband of 30 years now wants a divorce. He has found a younger woman. We married young and worked togather for everything we have. A house and some money. It is hard not to trust the one you have trusted with everything in your life. It sounds like you would do well to get your own lawyer. Hopefully this will encourage your husband will agree to a fair division of the things you two have built together. My prayers are with you.

by dumpedafter30years 66 Posts
Posted on 2/19/2008 7:46 PM

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Thank you for you respons Yes, I think your right I should see an attorney , Its just hard when this person who you loved and trusted for so long , (boy was I the fool) you want to believe them but I'm sure your right it's " it is what he's ok to part with" and is not what fair , Thanks so much !

by veryclueless 51 Posts
Posted on 2/19/2008 4:07 PM

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I am so sorry about your divorce. It must be tough to have to shift into a defensive mindset. The person you used to trust is now offering you deals on what they consider fair. Cindy is right. As a general rule, somebody who offers a "fair" usually means "this is what I could easily part with." It's usually not fair. I would recommend you talk to a lawyer. You don't need to hire him, but see what he says you should get. Think of it like getting estimates on having house work done. Your husband's figure is low, the Lawyers figure is probably going to be a little high. Is there a number in the middle that's worth hiring a lawyer? At least then you can decide with more information. Hang in there veryclueless, we're here to listen to you and help where we can.

by Robert-Boyd 5134 Posts
Posted on 2/19/2008 3:57 PM

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if you've been together for 10 years, you need to see a lawyer. it does not sound like he is giving you your fair share. and why would he offer that? he has been cheating and now he wants a divorce. he's not the person to trust right now. seek out legal aid or hire a lawyer.

by cindy 78 Posts
Posted on 2/19/2008 3:35 PM

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