Divorce is about the Benjamins - you need to get those that you and the kids are entitled to. Do whatever you need to do.
We're here for you.
I often say this. It's crass, but true. "When the scent of pussy is in the air, men lose the ability to think." His only motivation right now is to keep the gf happy. Why? So he can get laid! And if that means throwing you and your kids under the bus, so be it.
My ex was convinced at the start of the divorce that I would simply be gone and he would have all his time and paycheck to play as he wanted. One of his goals was to drive me into poverty. It was "revenge" for over 20 years of behavior that he felt that he had put up with, and now he was entitled to everything he "deserved". Unfortunately, he didn't care if our children would be driven into poverty right along with me.
Will, it's this sense of entitlement that some people have: "I deserve a good meal and a good fuck on my birthday. That's all I am concerned about." He doesn't care that you and the kids have no heat and are one step from being homeless. He simply doesn't care. It's all about him and his "needs" right now.
What the gf, poor fool that she is, doesn't see, is that as soon as he gets bored and a new whiff is in the wind...she and her kids will be thrown under the bus, too.
So what do you do? You act only for the good of you and the kids. He doesn't count. He chose to cut himself out of the family equation. So you don't give him one inch of leeway. You take him to court for what he owes. You do not let it slide EVER. You file an amended return with the IRS going back a few years and demand they make him refile since he lied. If it hurts him, too f'ing bad. He doesn't derve to be pissed on if he's going up in flames.
One of the first things my attorney told me was to get a thicker skin. I needed to learn to act for the good of me and the kiddos and not worry if the ex's feelings were hurt. He brought this on himself. So time to fight for what is yours, Girlfriend.
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