Lonely

Feeling angry today. It's STBX's birthday and he texts me to ask if he can drop our daughter early so that he can go out for his "Birthday Dinner" with his gf and her kids. We can't afford heat, electric, car repairs, clothing, food. He is living the high life while we struggle. 5 vacations last year, tattoos (which he suppoedly hated), 1000.00 for New Years eve plans. We were supposed to file taxes for the past two years and he filed behind my back and claimed the kids and took it all. He screwed me for my student loans by doing that. After catching him cheating how could I be stupid enough to trust him? I feel like such a fool. My car is on it's last leg. Today I went and took money that was left on our HELOC to live. I feel so down today. I have been feeling so good for the last few months, but my motivation the past few weeks is null. I am not jealous of his life style because I would NEVER trade my kids for his life. I love them with all my heart and soul. I just wish I could afford to live.

by WillGetThroughThis 185 Posts
Posted on 1/7/2012 9:48 PM

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Answers for "Lonely" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

I agree with above, he's not worth another second of your time. I was with someone like that. But he didn't work so I broke my back trying to make ends meet before he dumped me. I was pathetic back then. I grew up & will never again settle for less than what i deserve.

by Alaric 4 Posts
Posted on 1/10/2012 3:02 PM

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Like as has been said. Take him to court and get what you need for those kids. Frankly, I don't give a damn if my ex ends up living on the street in order for her to support our son. You shouldn't either........Zen Hugs

by worried2tears 2318 Posts
Posted on 1/8/2012 9:34 AM

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Divorce is about the Benjamins - you need to get those that you and the kids are entitled to. Do whatever you need to do.

We're here for you.

by JulieG 5767 Posts
Posted on 1/8/2012 9:29 AM

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Thank you Iam I needed that kick in the A$$ today. You couldn't be more correct. He only has our daughter EOW (the son refuses to go with him) and he can't plan around his time with her. This is the third visit in a row that he asked me to take her back early or drop her and pick her back up. He's unemployed from his 6 figure job and at this point he has all the time in the world. Today I found out that he let our insurance lapse! When it rains. My business is doing ok, but not enough to support us yet. I am more pissed that he screwed me out of doing the taxes, so now I can't afford to go to school this semester and my aid won't be approved. Don't worry my skin is thick and it is about the children and I. I was just at a point of weakness yesterday. Love you GF. Thanks for the pep talk!

by WillGetThroughThis 185 Posts
Posted on 1/8/2012 9:15 AM

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I often say this. It's crass, but true. "When the scent of pussy is in the air, men lose the ability to think." His only motivation right now is to keep the gf happy. Why? So he can get laid! And if that means throwing you and your kids under the bus, so be it.

My ex was convinced at the start of the divorce that I would simply be gone and he would have all his time and paycheck to play as he wanted. One of his goals was to drive me into poverty. It was "revenge" for over 20 years of behavior that he felt that he had put up with, and now he was entitled to everything he "deserved". Unfortunately, he didn't care if our children would be driven into poverty right along with me.

Will, it's this sense of entitlement that some people have: "I deserve a good meal and a good fuck on my birthday. That's all I am concerned about." He doesn't care that you and the kids have no heat and are one step from being homeless. He simply doesn't care. It's all about him and his "needs" right now.

What the gf, poor fool that she is, doesn't see, is that as soon as he gets bored and a new whiff is in the wind...she and her kids will be thrown under the bus, too.

So what do you do? You act only for the good of you and the kids. He doesn't count. He chose to cut himself out of the family equation. So you don't give him one inch of leeway. You take him to court for what he owes. You do not let it slide EVER. You file an amended return with the IRS going back a few years and demand they make him refile since he lied. If it hurts him, too f'ing bad. He doesn't derve to be pissed on if he's going up in flames.

One of the first things my attorney told me was to get a thicker skin. I needed to learn to act for the good of me and the kiddos and not worry if the ex's feelings were hurt. He brought this on himself. So time to fight for what is yours, Girlfriend.

by Iam 6490 Posts
Posted on 1/8/2012 8:41 AM

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