Does a man stand a fighting chance?

I would love to help you!  My husband  Dan and I have made it our mission to help people in relationships.  In fact he wrote two amazing books on attraction and relationships because it's a part of life that causes so much confusing.  Bottom line is this!  Once you say you love someone they are apart of you forever.  There is no falling out of love.  People get this confused because they think love is just that good warm fuzzy feeling.  Think of this, “Love is the flowers and the trees and the relationship or marriage is the house”. What keeps a house together? Nails! Commitment is the nails! So if you truly want the ultimate relationship then you must fully and totally commit yourself to the other person. 100% and be willing to do it forever and ever. If you are in a relationship for a few years and it didn’t feel like the passion was their anymore, or it seemed like your spouse was driving you totally crazy it might just be a change in that season. You might just need to wait it out and let the season change. But remember to be committed to that person and you will have the most incredible love of your life!  I know this must be so hard because it feels like your relationship is at a stand still, like she won’t change.  But commitment means this.  You never leave someone, you simply continue to move forward, growing in your life, and if they choose to follow that is up to them.  So you never threaten to leave them but you communicate with her and extend a loving hand. As a stay at home mom I’ve been there too. I use different ways of distraction but it all boiled down to me not being happy with myself.  I bet that’s what’s really going on inside of her now.  If you need help my husband is a coach for relationships.  He’s helped thousands of people with his relationship coaching, books, and radio show.  He’s having a 60% off deal now for anyone who needs coaching to do with relationship troubles. Many blessings to both of you! http://MakeTheWorldYourStage.com

Baca--you are describing almost the exact situation and feelings I am currently experiencing. Thanks to you and the responses for reassuring that there is hope, and that it is ok to break up a household to provide two happy homes rather than 1 miserable one. 

Can anyone shed more light on just how joint custody works when child is 1-2 years old, and then later when school age. It would seem even tually damaging to keep bouncing back and forth between homes...

please, anyone with experience, elaborate on what typically happens mid-long term with joint custody arrangements.

i know how now how hard it is to leave your kids after 20 yrs of marrige when your wife screams at you every day. i cant stop thinking about them all the time. i left 7 months ago because i could not please her in any way it was never good enough. i took advise from counslers that came to house once a week that a temp. separation was a great idea... she was ok with that of course. i said ok. i learned now she is seeing a man all ready that has a criminal back round. ive talked to an attourney. they said sorry YOU left. i tried moving back in. i talked to kids , i tried telling her. she just went off crazy ,slugging me in eye. i now had to get PFA on her. what a joke. she has house, kids everything and a new man . i got screwed. dont leave is the bottom line ask your spouse more questions . i asked her what he gives her that did not , she said he listens to me. i just shock my head and cryed . what she needed was attention and i guess i should have given her more. its hard when i have a franchise business i just started to devote so much time to make it work. she is running everything. were still not divorced yet just separated. i dont know what to do next. i have an (overpaid) attourney i paid $500 to start .. he's already trying to go with her $150 lawyer. ideas to drop the PFA. what is wrong with this picture. isnt he supossed to fight for me.To get the best for me, i guess once YOU leave, your done war is over. so morale of story never leave untile you have every , everything worked in your favor. My kids are everything to me and thats what drives me crazy.   PS im staying with my mom who is everything i DONT want to be.....

I understand what you are going through and I can tell you from personal experience that you should not stany for the sake of your children.  They will become adults one day and see your efforts to salvage your marriage for the sake of them and feel that this is "normal" and they should do the same if found in this situation. 

Just as Shawn said, the courts aren't like they use to be.  You will most likely only be ordered to pay alimony for a short time for her to find employment.  The children can actually be taken from her if she shows no initiative in locating employment.  You will also be awarded at least joint custody unless proven to be an unfit parent.  I wouldn't agree to just weekend visitation either.  Good luck!

Yes, you stand a chance and you dont have to hire an attorney. Go thru a paralegal for the paperwork and just file. I dont know if you will get full custody, and you will end up paying child support and maybe alimony for a year, but if you are unhappy...its time to take the next step. It sounds like you were her meal ticket to easy street. Dont give up, they look at BOTH sides of the story in court, not just hers. You sound like a great guy. Im sure it will work out for the better and you will be a happier person.

I feel for you, I too am in this boat with you. The times we are in right now, we do stand a chance. The courts are not like they were back 10-20 years ago where the mother would usually always get custody, They really are about what is in the best interest of your children. And unless your an unfit father and she can prove that, your ok. I have joint custody of my kids and it works out great for both her, and I. Hang in there!

Sanity, yes. It seems you have made an effort to your marriage and children. There should be a compromise from both parties. It is always confusing when a life-changing decision needs to be made. Counseling is always a good option to help sort things out.

awat