what should i do? (NSFW)

osirus...........run like hell woman.  he will never change, EVER. He does those things because he is a narcissist, with a problem with emotional intimacy..........the porn, lying and blowing things over as if it is the norm for a marriage.  He does those things because HE IS MORE INSECURE THAN YOU WILL EVER BE....... he looking for validation. ( I dont understand how a 3-d tramp can do that but whatever...) I know this all to well as i am just about to start my divorce process.  My husband is a dush-bag......... you and i can lose pounds but you cant do nuttin about UGLY........and again, speaking from experience (makes me nauseas just writting that)  his perverted little brain does the "snoopy dance" when you leave the house..........its his "time" alone.  My ho bag husband used to close the bedroom door and yell at the kids to go down stairs and play in the playroom........ i have three......... my son told me this when i asked what daddy did when i was out (after i found all of the orders for porn on directv)......i have lost sleep, parts of my mind and my hair (i can only blame the boob part on my kids...lol).... so ten years, three kids and all the naked twats in between, later............i think im ready to leave now, like yesterday!!!!  Its a good thing that the rotten words that fall out of that hole in his ugly face doesnt validate my selfworth, or my values.  do what you have to do to be $ stable and protect yourself.  if you ever need someone to talk to to vent, i am here...............for instance, he is looking at me right now, i want to drop kick him in the face, but instead i offer and quick glance and half a smile (ya, half empty) and wait for life to begin without him...........scary, but free of this shit.  best of luck to you!!!

Fact of life - 99.9% of men like porn. But to what extreme can be a thin line. Frankly, your husband sounds like a bit much for a married guy. Okay, a lot much. He really needs to cut back. As for what you can do? I have told him that that much porn repluses you? Have you told him that a 29 yr old happily married guy shouldn't be jerking off to porn that much and that it is questionabley perverted? Maybe he has never really thought about it like that and actually been told he is perverted. Now, looking at teens.... now that is just wrong for a man of his age - and against the law isn't it? Just asking.

See, and that's where it all goes awry too.  It's the trust issues.  You don't sound like a prude to me.  You sound like somebody who wants at least equal time and equal affection to his toss-a-day porn habit.  But now you're feeling neglected, and you don't trust him alone.  These are the things that eat away the marriage. Have you thought about councelling?  Maybe that would help bring you back together.  It sounds like you really want it to work, but your frustrated.  I'd hate to see it fall apart.  Please keep us posted.

thanks for all the great advice. with regards to him taking care of the baby, well he just never does. and i have thought about when he stays with her would he watch the porn and jerk off, and i think he would but not nfront of her but maybe when she is asleep or in another room.
with the initiation of sex question, i always want it. i feel like if i am the man and he is the wife where i am always wanting it and he is always putting me down or rejecting me. i have told him that i feel like raymond from everybody loves raymond.
i have told him how horny i am all the time and i have told him how i feel about the porn but he just does not seem to care. its like you said he chooses to ignore my concerns and just calls me a prude. he says that im not open to things and that i just want to limit him. i dont think him watching all this porn and jerking off is normal for a married man to a horny wife. that kind of behavior in my opinion is for single men with noone to be intimate with so they have to relay on the internet and peep shows.

this issue is always on my mind. i dont leave him alone in the house ever in fear that he is going to look for the porn and masterbate.

Ok, read the other one first.  If your not throwing stuff at me yet, then continue on to here.  I apparenlty have more to say about porn than I thought.  Back to where I was.  The real problem here is not the porn itself.  It's that you have a problem with it.  It's that not only do you have a problem, but that he's not willing to do anything to ease your concern.  Thats not so much an obsession as it is uncourtious.  If the woman you love has a problem, you don't dismiss it with a shrug and a Kleenex.  You find a way to compromise.  Find ways to make sure she knows she's still attractive. Obviously it's a big enough issue to you that you're losing sleep, and it's putting your marriage at risk.  Have you told your husband exactly what you've told us?  Make sure he knows HOW important this is to you.  If he's not willing to change at all, then you need to evaluate how important it really is to you, because fretting to the point of losing sleep is no way to live.  You deserve to be secure in your relationship, and to know you're loved.  Please don't give up, continue to work on this,and rub it in his face if you have to, but work this out.  Keep us posted Osirus.

Ok, I'm walking a very thin balance beam here, so bear with me, and don't throw anything, I'll just fall.  Porn is one of those tricky issues, I won't even go into the moral argument, the little counter tells me I only have 1700 more characters to go.  Outside of that, what a man does to himself in front of a computer monitor  is between him and his wife.  I never thought about it, but I'm beginning to wonder if porn shouldn't be one of those things discussed while dating.  "Do you want kids? How do you handle your finances?  Do you jerk off to porn?"  It's not so much that the porn is wrong; we all have opinions on that.  It's that we all make a big deal out of it one way or the other.  Either we have to have it, or we can't delete it fast enough.  First, I wouldn't worry too much about the issue twizted brings up.  I'm giving your husband benefit of a doubt.  Just cuz he's a porn-perv doesn't mean he's a neglectful father. Porn is not the gateway drug to hedonism.  Besides, I trust that you're a good enough mom to have put a stop to any unsafe behavior around your children.  I also do believe that your husband loves you. And I also believe that he finds you attractive. Speaking as a man, a few extra pounds is not a turn off. It's the woman inside that excites me.   It is possible to watch porn, and love your wife.  Choosing porn over real sex is really just a matter of poor prioritizing skills, and not necessarily infidelity.  A wise man knows a bird in the hand  is better than 2 on the net. Maybe the infrequency of sex is a dominance issue.  Who usually instigates sex between you two? If you're usually the dominant one, maybe he's having trouble broaching his horniness with you, and porn is his outlet.  If you're not dominant there, maybe you should try.  Make sure he knows you're as horny as he is.  I don't know.  I'm just offering ideas   Ok, I have more to say and I'm running out of characters.  I'm going to double post.  I'l

 I think the biggest question you should ask yourself is what is he doing when you leave him alone with your child? Is he taking care of her or is he messing around with porn. An even worse question is does he do this when she is in the room with him. These questions should be your biggest concern. You really should ask him about that then think a lot about his answer. Your daughter does not need to grow with that around her.

I had the same issue with my husband when we first got married, then one day I found he had a profile on Adult Friend Finders. I made him delete the profile and told him that if he looked at another woman between the neck and the knees he mite as well be f***ing her and that I would leave him (and this included any online pictures/movies).

Good luck and i hope it works out well with you.