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  Posted to group - Difficult Ex's    <<Previous    Next>>

Sleeping arrangements

Is it wrong that my ex husband has moved on to his third girlfriend since the divorce and has allowed each of them to sleep over and share the bed with my kids? All after only dating them for 3 months or less?

by gameover   2 Posts 
Posted on 11/17/2010 6:10 PM
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Answers for "Sleeping arrangements"  (6) (You must be logged in to answer)




Thank you all for your thoughts on this. I am going to take them to a counselor. My oldest is especially affected by all of this. If I tried to speak to him first, he would just tell me I am over reacting and he is within his rights, etc.

I am pretty sure that there is nothing I can do going the legal route. So I will protect them the best I can by getting them the help they need.

Thanks!
by gameover   2 Posts
Posted on 11/27/2010 12:42 PM
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Yuk. Sharing a bed under those circumstances is just plain weird, in my opinion. Trust yourself, you're questioning it; the mere fact that you are indicates you've got problems with this behaviour. And rightly so. But what can be done, that's another story entirely.
by Natalie   1518 Posts
Posted on 11/22/2010 3:34 PM
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Hi GameOver - 

I am a relationship counselor and divorce coach here on D360. 

I am assuming that your kids are small... otherwise they wouldn't be sleeping in Dad's room.  I am concerned that your children's Dad is involving the kids in his relationships much too soon.  Kids need stability in their lives and meeting one gal after another as they sail through Dad's life isn't stability.

The fact that they sleep over... that they all share a bed...  none of this is healthy.    It is at best confusing to the kids...  at worse damaging if Dad and current gf are participating in sexual activity while the kids are sleeping.  

How did you find out about this behavior?  Did the kids tell you?  Are you certain it's true, or could it be they are angry at Dad and telling tales to get him in trouble. 

I would try to speak with Dad privately first gently reminding him that little ones have big ears and see and hear things that they have no business seeing.  Maybe he will agree and change the sleeping arrangements. 

If you haven't, it's time to take the kids to a counselor.  They need a place to work through what they are experiencing.

Unfortunately there is little you can do to prevent Dad from behaving inappropriately.  If you have a clause in your agreement that specifies no overnight guests of the opposite sex prior to marriage you might have a say in court...  but you need proof...  and that isn't easy.  Judges rarely like to be in the middle of a pissing contest of he said she said... and it can take months to get before a judge.   

Try to work it out with Dad and see if he will make different arrangements. 

Best -
Lisa

by Lisa Cannon   
Posted on 11/17/2010 11:12 PM
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I would be furious and call my attorney immediately!!!  Protect your children!
by emmaj   134 Posts
Posted on 11/17/2010 6:17 PM
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I would be furious and call my attorney immediately!!!  Protect your children!
by emmaj   134 Posts
Posted on 11/17/2010 6:16 PM
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what the hell is wrong with this man?

Of course it's wrong!!!!!!!!!!!

go talk to a lawyer, do something!!!!!!!!!
by fra   1682 Posts
Posted on 11/17/2010 6:12 PM
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