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sex with soon to be ex

What is everyones opnion on having sex with soon to be ex? Especially if you still u have feeling for him?

by cathaleen   22 Posts 
Posted on 9/1/2010 10:05 PM
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Answers for "sex with soon to be ex"  (17) (You must be logged in to answer)

I didn't do it to save us, I was the one who wanted the divorce. We have never cheated on each other even now. That I am very sure of. I know I shouldn't. For both him and I we consider it making love. Still, there are reasons that I wanted a divorce and sex will not change that. I'm sure of that. Thanks for all the advice. I needed to hear it.
by cathaleen   22 Posts
Posted on 9/3/2010 8:17 PM

I speak from personal experience. I had a 1yr affair with my ex, off and on sex. I was not able to move on emotionally until I stopped this. Trust me when I say you will be emotionally tangled up with him if you continue to have sex with him. It feels nice to be wanted, especially by the one who pushed you away but its not worth your emotional health. It took so long for me to move on after doing this. I learned alot a long the way so in no way am I being judgemental just want to warn you of what could happen based on my experiences. BE CAREFULL!!!!
by baddlizz   360 Posts
Posted on 9/3/2010 6:46 PM

by sweetpea04   2025 Posts
Posted on 9/3/2010 7:25 AM

Check out the link Julie provided. It's true! Besides, do you KNOW FOR SURE who he's been sleeping with? My stbx has had at least one, and now possibly two STD's and we still live in the same house. I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole, let alone any part of my body.

I have feelings for my stbx. None of them good anymore. All you are doing is giving him a chance to get laid, nothing else. You are SO much better than this.
by worried2tears   2308 Posts
Posted on 9/2/2010 6:13 PM


You: Maybe if we have sex, he'll come back to me.
Him: I want to score.


You: He didn't come back to me! I'm so sad and feel so used.
Him: I scored.
by Natalie   1518 Posts
Posted on 9/2/2010 5:18 PM

It's a very appealing thought, but that's all it should be, a thought. You open yourself up to all kinds of feelings and emotions that you've been working so hard to get past, it all come's rushing back. Then when it's over, your left with the same problem's that brought you to where you are in the first place. It won't fix anything, it won't save the marriage, it's just a way for your ex to still hold power over you. You took that power away when this process started, don't give it back to them now. Be strong, although it's very difficult, and you will be so much better for it.
by Dadtryingtocope   24 Posts
Posted on 9/2/2010 9:23 AM

I too learned the hard way it is not a good idea. Actually we continued after the divorce was final. You cannot end the relationship totally until you end that.
It is tough - a hard thing to do but if you are divorcing...stop the sex.
by mtnvly   4119 Posts
Posted on 9/2/2010 9:05 AM

Glad this post was on here because the thought has crossed my mind so many times of what I would do if it was ever presented in front of me! I honestly cant say I would be able to say no to him because we always had an amazing sex life...Or so i thought!! So, glad I know that I am will have to have alot of self control!!
by Kim84   51 Posts
Posted on 9/2/2010 9:04 AM

He is a soon to be ex for a reason.
by Iam   7316 Posts
Posted on 9/2/2010 6:02 AM

Hate to say it, but like others here, I learned its a bad thing-the hard way.  I did it-more than once.  Made me feel better at the time, but when I figured out there was no love involved with it-I felt like a prostitute.  Did a very low self-esteem an almost fatal blow.
Don't do it-if you already have-forgive yourself-and don't do it again.

by Assina1   679 Posts
Posted on 9/2/2010 5:48 AM

It's like lighting up another cigarette when you're quitting or having that tiny little drink when you're trying to get sober.  DON'T DO IT...unless you both are looking to reconcile...and even then, take some time.
by RDC   93 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2010 11:39 PM

I didn't, but thank God he didn't try.  All those times when I was crying and lonely and just wanted someone to hold me.  I know it would have just made things much harder and prolonged the agony.  My advice is don't do it again.
by stCheshirecat   2624 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2010 11:18 PM

Thanks for the responses, just the thought has been driving me nuts...and to be perfectly honest it did happen once. It was the only thing that we did goooood together. I will follow the advice, and wil read the pages.
by cathaleen   22 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2010 11:00 PM

I did it once, I thought it would help "save" us. I went into it thinking that he wanted to work on us and he went into it for a convenient piece of ass. I felt awful and used afterwards. I don't think it is a good idea at all. It doesn't fix anything and it is not what will save anything either...I know some people have said they have done it too but divorce is hard enough on the self-esteem without adding more than necessary to the pot.
by militaryp   5614 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2010 10:59 PM

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I learned the hard way...It made my healing process harder...I had stronger feeling for him than he did for me...It killed me every time I walked out of our apartment to go home, ALONE...Cathaleen try your best to fight the urges
by RD25   92 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2010 10:56 PM

by __STRIKER__   2341 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2010 10:46 PM

No, NO, Hell to the NO! (thanks, Madea!)

Here's why:


It's a little long, but read all the pages. You're going to have a tough time fighting the biology and chemistry that's happening, and you'll just prolong the agony of splitting up.
by JulieG   5759 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2010 10:32 PM

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