I hate my Husband!!!!!

I have been married for 20 years and I can't take it anymore. I have 3 kids, 18,13,&6. I I feel my marriage is like a roller coaster and I want to get off. He is a fighter and trouble maker. He is never happy with what he has. He wanted to move because he needed a bigger house with 2 car garage. So I moved, IFinancially I knew that it was going to be hard and I told him that but he didn't want to listen as usual. I hated it in the beginning and now after 2 years I'm finally adjusted and my kids have adjusted. Now he wants to move to Florida, because he doesn't want to work 2 jobs anymore. or pay 15,000 in taxes. I don't care what he wants because I never wanted to move to this house in the first place and now the market is in the toilet and he thinks I just going to pick up move to florida he lost he mind. He also is addicted to prescription drugs and can't deal with the mood swings. I so confused and don't know what to do or say to him. Im so angry because I feel he made his bed now lie in it. Why should me and my children suffer for his big spending habits. I even went back to work to help out but I can't get him to understand that I will never move to florida. Nothing against it. But my whole family is here. He's mother lives there but I can't take her either. please give some advice? thanks for listening.

by ava 4 Posts
Posted on 2/5/2008 2:49 PM

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Answers for "I hate my Husband!!!!!" (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

Is he willing to go to counseling? Stop the meds? What can you do but carry on a martyr if he is not willing t help himself. I'm in an unhappy marriage (7yrs) with a type a personality (also addicted to prescription drugs). We are trying counseling for the 3rd time and hope this can last. I have invested my heart and soul to make it work but this emotional coaster is tough when your spouse does not want to seek help. As hard as it is we all live a short life, hope you find the strength to move on if need be. I should be telling myself the same thing. I know its tough...

by tod 1 Post
Posted on 2/10/2008 7:54 PM

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I know what you're going through. My husband moved us twice before I moved on him back to my hometown. After a year he finally came to where we are now, and that still did not work. Just b/c you are married does not mean you have to blindly follow. Do what's best for your kids and yourself. You CAN do it by yourself if you have to. You may just have to scale down. If you leave it won't make anything better, it will be worse b/c not only will you resent him, but you will resent him in a mound of debt.

by Landa 11 Posts
Posted on 2/7/2008 3:47 PM

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and ava what ever you do, DO NOT ALLOW YOUR ATTORNEY OR ANYONE ELSE TO SCARE YOU BY SAYING you need to give him temperary custody of kids because he may have the means, that is how i lost custody o my girls. because he had the house and the $$$$$. KEEP THOSE KIDS WITH YOU!!!!

by mouse 75 Posts
Posted on 2/6/2008 9:57 AM

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i was in 21 year marriage and i didnt do things i should of in my divorce so if it can help someone else what i HAVE learned that would be GREAT!! mine is still going on, divorce was final in april 07, your situation sounds alot like mine now you go get a GOOD attorney, get a protection order, and take pictures of EVERYTHING in the house you think are important and file for divorce before he does. make a list of everything you want in the house (dont think fair) IT WILL COME BACK AND BITE YOU! get all assett document you can find now, it will be very helpful. you write down everything you can remember about what is abusive over the 20 years. DO NOT SAY A WORD TO THE CHILDREN NEGATIVE ABOUT FATHER or situation. that i never did, but he involved the kids with everything, including keeping them out of school just to tell them what happened in court. BIG NONO!!! you get a small tape recorder and record every conversation you can w him. keep everything documented. i used to be the kindest person in the world but this does change a person and you need to be prepaired. keep in touch. maybe i can give more. but i hope this helps. one last thing if he is this way a counsilor will not help. we saw 6 over all this.

by mouse 75 Posts
Posted on 2/6/2008 9:44 AM

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I agree with you. Your husband can't keep running away from his problems. He needs to be a man and own up to his responsibilities as a father, husband and provider. He nees counseling to straighten himself out. I live in Florida and believe me it is VERY expensive to live here. Just because there is no state tax they get you in other taxes. The grass is always greener. He will never be happy until he gets help and changes. Moving to a different house did not make him a better person and now he wants to move to another state. He needs to face his problems now before you two move on. Stay strong and keep me posted. Good Luck

by Bea4 406 Posts
Posted on 2/5/2008 10:08 PM

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