Judge that won’t budge- too forgiving

I have been trying to divorce my husband going on three years, he is on attorney number 4, who has his new tactics and this judge is giving into all their demands. My home has been in and out of foreclosure now twice, we’ve been in court 6 times for contempt charges, (failure to pay support) and my husband has yet to be found in contempt, the judge has this impression that all I want is the money of our businesses that I help him create during our marriage. This has taken a toll on my children, granted they are 20 and 18. Our home has been in storage for three years, my 18 year old needs a liver transplant, who is now addicted to pot and my 20 year old has started drinking. I also have Lupus, which is exasperated by stress that’s resulted in two strokes. But my attorney has not gotten that across. She doesn’t understand how this has taken a toll on my family. How do I get this judge to budge, why is she so sympathetic to my husband who had numerous affairs and a child during our marriage. Is my education and job affecting her response? How can I speed this process? do i look for a new attorney , what tactics can i present to the court.