how did l get like this its just not me

hi everyone .l would just like to thank all who left me a message ..l read them all and its so nice to know people care that dont even know me thank you again so much ..well about my problem with my husband ..l agree with all of what yous say but l know deep down hes not a bad person and if its worth fightiing for  and trying hard for then try hard becouse my kids love there dad and thye love us togather as a family .he.can be great father thats why l have stayed so long here ..ave got to a point it needs to change and l have told him so and so have the boys we told him if he doesnt change and fast we want him to leave and let us be happy with no one moaning at us alll ..well he said he knows this and he is sorry and he is going to try hard and change ...so lets hope he does as for my saddness and lonely ness its hard but am going back to collage in january and l know l will meet knew friends and this is defo something l need so l jsut need to keep my chin up and look foward to starting ...againthank you all its so nice that yous carea dn has helped me to know am not alone is this too ..l whish yous all well and happyness and l will keep you all informed of how me and myboys ae gettign on too thanks

I am in the same boat with you. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to.  I'm the same way.  I come home to a husband that gripes constantly and my child that is my world. I can't really talk to family because I don't want them to get involved.  I wish I were like those people that are strong enough to just leave and make a life for themselves.  I feel weak for not being able to leave and he knows that I won't go.  I feel like my life is just passing me by and I'll wake up one day and be 70+ and think of all the things I could've done if I'd just left.

Hope is the stimulant of life.  Enthusiasm for living.  You need love, security and proper excitement to be happy.  Give yourself a pat on the back, as the difficulties you face have strengthened your mind as labour does the body.  Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.  Success is not a result, but always a goal. 

You must pick yourself up as you have young minds to form, your kids.  You are an important person having such resposibilities.  Your job is more important than your husbands.  You are priceless, and never think otherwise.  In the future, never trash you husband to your children as they will come to their own conclusions in time.

Could you possibly have a serious discussion with your husband about his crude behavior?   This behavior is unacceptable, and must stop.  Young children are not stupid, they know what transpires.  They, as you, need protection so as to keep your self-esteem in a healthy place.  Be well.

Things will get better. Truly try to get out every day. Even just for a walk with the kids or something. If you see someone in the neighborhood, say hi and smile at them. you would be surprised how good that makes you feel. It truly does. And anything that is positive in your life right now is going to help you. I am sorry you are in such a bad marriage. I figured in the last 10 years of my marriage, if my ex and I spent 10 minutes of quality time together a day, it was a good day. It wasn't that I didn't try, I certainly did but he didn't. I was the wife/money maker/housekeeper, chief financial director, you name it - I did it. I did everythign and worked full time and brought home a good salary so he could sit on his ass all winter while I worked and kept the $$ coming in so he could cheat on me. So I know how you feel. If you are going to be doing everything anyways, what do you need him for? Truly? I have found now that I have so much satisfaction when I do things that I never thought possible. And my ex is blown away that I am doing so well. He told our 20 year old son that "your mom is doing much better than I am." Ya think? Cuz I am going through this and I am a survivor and strong and you have to remember that you are too. We all are here on this board. Survivors and strong people for having gone through what we have been put through and coming out the other side. Better things await you.

Focus on you and the kids. YES you are important! You will get thru this -time will heal! You will stop mourning! 
You deserve better than to be yelled at etc! 
So hug your kids! Find some friends who care and spend time with them! Hang in there- there is much advise and many who care on this site! ((hugs))

You need to do what is right for you and your kids.  Alot of people stay in a bad situation because of the kids.  However, I will tell you I knew what was going on between my parents and I bed your kids do.  You pretend you don't because its easier, but later on after my mom left my father.  Yes father not a dad because he was never that, I respected her strength and ability to leave and make a life for use. Was I brat at first yes because I was scared but in the long run it was better for all of us.

You need to do what is right for you and your kids.  Alot of people stay in a bad situation because of the kids.  However, I will tell you I knew what was going on between my parents and I bed your kids do.  You pretend you don't because its easier, but later on after my mom left my father.  Yes father not a dad because he was never that, I respected her strength and ability to leave and make a life for use. Was I brat at first yes because I was scared but in the long run it was better for all of us.