when does being nice become to much

oh my thank you to all who answered.. hes finally gone i got so mad friday that i told him to get the **** out i left and when i got home he informed me that she was coming to pick him up. so over one hurdle!! only a few thousand more and its done!!!

I agree with Lisa.  #3 is great but the bus ticket is probably best.  She will get tired of supporting him and he needs to step up and be a man and take care of his responsibilities.  Once the divorce is through he will need to provide child support and if he isn't capable of doing that he may find himself in trouble with the law.  Could be very sticky for him.  I think Lisa gave you great advice, and keep us posted to see how he actually does get to Indiana.  I still can't get over he wants you to drive him.

Go Greyhound!

thank you i really needed that and the funny thing is that is the exact thing a mutual friend of ours offerd to do (#3).. but seriously i have to contact a lawyer because my kids are all young still (10,7,6,and3) and i just think them seeing her will mess with their heads. again i thank you....

I enjoyed Suggestion number #3.  I'm beginning to think that mean take complete leave of their senses in midlife.....

i vote for choice #3 and lisa, i am not kidding. wonderful ideas all. lol
mg- i am sorry all this is happening. if you're kids are to young right now to understand don't worry- they will catch on soon enough. take care of yourself and move quickly to protect yourself against the debit he will make while you are still married. talk to your attorney about a legal seperation if the divorce will take awhile.

Hi MommyGoose -

I am a relationship counselor and divorce coach here on D360. 

Your situation sounds uncomfortable...  to say the least.

His request for you to drive him to Indiana is very comical.  

Suggestion No1: If I were him I would take my last unempolyment check and buy a one way bus ticket to Indiana.  His new gf can pick him up at the depot. 

Suggestion No2: She will be supporting him once he arrives, as he is unemployed...so why not start early and pick him up?

Suggestion No3:  You could volunteer to drive him, drive about a hour or two out of town, stop for gas and when he gets out, leave him at the gas station. 

Okay...  seriously...  The most effective way to get an addict to move on is to remove their addiction.  Since he is spending his days gaming and talking on the phone, how about disconnecting your cable, internet and phone.  You can call the company and have them suspend your service.  Make sure the service is in your name only and password protect the account with a customer care rep so he can't access it and turn it back on.  Once he can't access his addiction at your home he will begin to yearn for gaming and want to leave. 

As far as the visit with the kids at Xmas.  You can't keep him from bringing his 19 year old gf with him, but you can keep her from coming into your home or spending time with your kids when  they are with you are in your home.  If he takes the kids to his folks home and she is there, I don't think there is much you can do to stop it. 

This is a legal issue as well and you should ask Spaz (she's an attorney) for her advice.  There may be something she can tell you to help.

Hope you got a laugh out of the beginning and some help from the serious part.

Best -
Lisa