Is my wife cheating.

Hi SbapWexler -

I am a relationship counselor and divorce coach here on D360. 

I too see alot of red flags in your wife's behavior.  The comments made by BlueB are right on.  You have some thinking to do.  The anger and venom are serious indications that she is involved emotionally elsewhere.  That is not a good sign. 

Good luck and let us know what you discover,
If you want to chat, I am here.

Best -
Lisa

Tell her you want to accompany her to play tennis one day and see her response.   I see a lot of red flags in your post.  I guess if you need a definite answer then as blueb said, hire a P.I.

Well, those are some glaring red flags.  To be sure, you could always hire a pi...or get a gps locater to hide on her car that would let you track her movements.

But, before you do that...you have to ask yourself a question...if she is cheating, what then?  If she isn't cheating, what then?  Regardless of whether or not she is cheating on you, there are some severe problems in the marriage.  First thing you have to realize...you can't control her or her actions, only you and yours.  The first thing you have to figure out is do you want to fix this?  If you do, then you have to define how far are you willing to accept her behavior vs. what you won't stand for or live with, then explore that (read: find out if there is an affair and if so, can you forgive her and move past it?), then find out what SHE's willing to do...and go from there.  I'm sorry you're going through all this...I wish you luck with everything.  Keep us posted!!!