Looking for other on line groups.

Short answer: do what it takes to get to a city that has what you need. I'm going to hound you (lovingly) about this until you figure it out.

Now Bassett...
Lisa's  just trying to help.
:-)

Tough love: You're just gonna have to find a group, even if you have to drive, fly, walk or hitchhike. I'm with Lisa, I can't believe you can't find anything. You also may have to reconsider why you're uncomfortable about certain things, perhaps those are actually the things that need attention?

I'm sorry, I'm simply not going to accept the word "can't." You MUST do this or you will not prosper. Pretty please, with sugar on top?

One more thought: I'm not at all comfortable with the phrase "to the best of my ability."

"To the best of my ability" means, I tried and failed and have now given up.

Tough love: Right now your best wasn't good enough, but I know you can do better. You must. My best is often not good enough, but with a little work my best gets better and then it usually (not always, but usually) is good enough.

Please keep trying, getting help is essential and it's the only way to break the Catch-22 you're trapped in currently. Like I said on your wall, I've got a surplus of positive energy right now and am sending a dollop your way. Use it, my friend; I dare you.

Find a group, get to it and go just once. Just once. Don't think it's a permanent thing, blah blah, just go that once. Step out of your comfort zone; it has to be done and will make you stronger.

Your fears are like bullies, they seem lots bigger and tougher than they appear. I mean, geez, I get to fly for a living, what could be more farfetched than that? I never thought I could do it, but I did, and it all started with that first lesson where I almost spun the plane and killed both of us.

~Natalie

Lisa,

As hard as it is for you to believe I do live in a city that is on 'the map' but does not offer the kind of group I am comfortable with. I am open to almost any type of support group except church based ones. My issues are not based on my personal spiritual believes.

Also, I have made the effort to the best of my ability because yes I do actually want help. With raising a 3 year old girl, full time work, school, and other daily needs, time is limited but my best efforts have been made.

What's a divorce coach anyways?

Hi Basset -

I find it hard to believe there are no in person groups in your actual living area.  AlAnon, AA, CoDa, ACOA, NarAnon, NA, SLA, GA, OA all have groups in virtually every city and town in the USA. 

Look online.  Every one of them has a home page and a "find a group" page.  Unless you live in a town that's not on the map you should be able to find a group.  They are all free and anonymous.

Good luck and make the effort if you need help.
Best -
Lisa

You probably don't wish to go into which specific issues you'd like to address, I can totally understand that, but it might make it easier if you elaborated a bit on what you're seeking.

Can you get one on one counseling? Is that an option? Even if you have to drive a fair distance or take public transportation or whatever, if it's at all possible to get face time with a group or counselor, I think you should. There's nothing like the tight feedback loop of saying something and having another person react to it in your presence, in real time.

You're worth it.