divorce advice

Hi Rayan -

I am a counselor and divorce coach here on D360. 

I would be willing to help in any way I can.  Please think carefully about what you are doing before you make your final decision.

If you haven't gone to counseling...  individually...  that is your first step.  Figure out why you are unhappy and whether or not it is your relationship or you.  Then you can make an informed decision. 

If you are more specific I can be of greater help.

Best -
Lisa

For complete instructions, see below!
:-)

One other thing: the marriage may be a pair of strong hands clamped around your neck, but divorce has its own set of difficulties. Do what you can to save the marriage, if it can be salvaged, we're trusting that you've tried counseling and it's already beyond that point.

It depends...divorce has so many facets.  If you're looking for some general legal guidelines, a good place to start is the summary of divorce laws in your state in the box just below your screen name in the upper right hand box.  It gives useful links and some FAQ about common divorce law questions, like grounds and such.

As for the emotional aspect of divorce, you will have to post more specific questions to the forum in general to get better advice.

In general, I can give you these three pieces of advice...

1.  Get up on all your finances if you aren't already.  Assets, liabilities, credit rating, retirement funds, etc.  Make personal copies and keep them in a safe place.

2.  Do your research on divorce laws in your state.  As I pointed out, the overview on divorce laws on this website is a good start.  I would also go to your local library.  They usually have a selection of DIY divorce books, geared towards collaborative divorce.  Your divorce may not meet the criteria, but those books usually do break down divorce laws into layman's terms and gives you an idea what to expect about the process, filing, etc.

3.  Once you have educated yourself on what to expect, talk to divorced family/friends/co-workers about what lawyers they used and start getting referrals.  If you don't know anyone that you trust who are able to referr a lawyer to you, start going through the yellow pages and start doing web research on those lawyers and start calling for consultations.  Do your law research before so you are better informed when asking a lawyer for what you want and expect.  You may have to do a little shopping before you can find the lawyer that best fits your circumstances.

I hope that helps.  I wish you luck with all of this.  Keep us posted!