Will somebody please be my friend?

read your post just want to say you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, keep goin kid

Dear S&S-

Please do try to attend a divorce care meeting in your local area.  It WILL help with the lonliness.  (See my prior post for the link). 

Trying a new idea (Divorce Care) may seem scary but it will feel really good once you get there. 

Give it a shot.  Lots of folks on this site have found it to be a real help.

Best -
Lisa

This is the roller coaster no one wants to be forced to ride, but here we all are.  Believe me when I tell you that we are here for you.  We're just a click away on the internet.

DivorceCare is also a good group.  There is an initial charge for the workbook, but I was assured at my group that no one is turned away because they can't afford it--there are scholarships for it!  There are also probably groups for displaced homemakers offering training and help for returning to the work force. 

Trust me when I tell you that things will get better.  You do have a life ahead of you and it will be much better than it seems now.  Your pain is real, but there will be relief from that, too.  Hugs to you during this hard time.

hi there, hope you are ok today. just want you to know if you need someone to talk to please email me ok..

cherbear

Well, things didn't look too promising with the attorney (Which a Maryland legal assistance program is paying for. I've waited over a month to get this assistance) yesterday. He seemed arrogant and told me that my husband may not even be able to afford to pay me alimony based on his income etc. He also reminded me that he wasn't there to be my friend(duh) that he was there to get the divorce thing rolling etc. HE said that yes, I could get him for adultry but he could also get me for adultry since I had a one night fling in June(which I know was stupid on my part) and he found out about it. This attorney didn't seem like he was going to fight for me. He even suggested that I sit down with my husband and discuss this so I did call my husband who is in Chicago on business and told him about the attorney and he said it was a good idea so we could end our marriage sooner. My husband is very spiteful and full of malice and very vindictive so I'm terribly affriad of what he may try now that he knows about the attorney. My husband will be back from Chicago on Thursday but lives with his girlfriend and her kids on section 8(probably). Had a horrible panic attack today over this and God  I'm lonely.

Hi S&S -

I am a relationship counselor and divorce coach here on D360.  I am so sorry that you are going through all this pain and loss.  I understand from your post that you have a disability related to anxiety/panic.  I assume you are being treated for this condition. If not,  please let me know. 

As you have read from all the posts, divorce is a roller coaster ride filled will emotional ups and downs that can take your breath away.  This site is a God send for having a place to get advice, vent and find safety for support. 

That said, online advice is not as great as real flesh and blood support.  There is a wonderful group called Divorce Care that has free support meetings all over the country.  They have a web site you can use to find a meeting near you.  Here is the link.  http://www.divorcecare.com/findagroup/

You will find that the folks at these meetings are going through the exact same trauma you are experiencing...   there's nothing like a hug from a real person to make you feel  better.  You may be able to make some excellent friends at a meeting.  Make a committment to go to 5 meetings before you decide if it's for you or not. 

Keep coming back.  This site is excellent and supportive.  Both are a great combination to get you through the next months of drama.

If you want to chat, I am here.

Best -
Lisa

hey s&s know what you are going thru. as i am told time heals the pain. waiting on that to. just stand tall and be confident. you can do what ever you put your mind to. use these four things. be impeccable with your word, don't let someone put you down, do your best and don't assume things.

hey s&s know what you are going thru. as i am told time heals the pain. waiting on that to. just stand tall and be confident. you can do what ever you put your mind to. use these four things. be impeccable with your word, don't let someone put you down, do your best and don't assume things.

S&S you came to just the right place. As much as I wish you did not find yourself in need of kind of support we offer, here you are and we are here for you. I promise, you will make great friends and in no time you will feel part of this wonderful family. Misery, loneliness and heartbreak brought us all here but it's all the support, friendships and fun, yes! fun that makes us stay. 
 You are among friends here and we got your back! ((X))

Hang in there, ShortAndSweet. We are all going through similar problems. Things will get better. They have to.

We are here for you!!!  Just when you feel anxious get on here and blog or read other peoples situations it feels odd at first but it really does help.  We are all going through the same thing as you so we will support you give you honesty when you need it.  Just don't be afraid and it sounds silly but take it day by day.

Keep your head up ..and be strong/even if u have to fake it, this is a great site it helps me alot

good luck ShortandSweet, you're not alone...we're here for you :o)

Thank you all so much. I also forgot to mention that I also suffer from a chronic case of Anxiety/Panic/Nervous disorder which doesn't help my situation either(which is my disability and I cannot drive and am looking to work part time which I haven't done in 12 years if I can even do that without having a panic attack). I so appreciate all the support I can get here.

My soon to be ex is evil, vindictive,spiteful & full of malice. I pray that this attorney I'm seeing tomorrow will not be some arrogant type with no compassion and will know exactly how to handle the situation for me due to my disability etc.

hey sorry to hear about your present circumstanses. I hope the hurt soon subsides for you. You always have someone to talk to on here if ya need it.

Sorry you're going through this.  That being said, this site is a wonderful resource.  The people here are all going through some version of the same thing.

We're all here to help each other.  Don't be afraid to vent, blog, post, ask questions.

You're not alone.

*Hugs*

There are lots of great people here who are going through similar circumstances.  Blog and vent often.  It does the heart and soul some good to get things out there.  You have many friends here and believe me, we all understand.

You are not alone in MD..I live in VA..listen to 360..you are not alone.  We cannot explain why they left or found someone else...only tell you that life for you does go on...meeting with an attorney is for the best.  You have so much to give to someone..don't lose that feeling!  Take what to what spatzskitz and kevinwo say to heart...they truly mean every word!  Take care and we are here for you..have to go..my own abuser has returned..and the fun begins for me!!  You will get thru this..and come out better for the ending.

Welcome to the club, I truly wish you were having to become a member.  There are a lot of really great people here who are going through the same things. 

Spaz is right, use this forum to vent, to cry, to ask for support, to be a sounding board so that when you have to face your STBX, you can be calm and clear headed. 

We are here for you.

Keth

Well it seems we are in a club that no one wants to belong to.  First of all look after your health and keep busy.  Also don't beat yourself up over what has transpired, now is the time to be good to yourself and enjoy things that you enjoy.  The way we handle our problems define who we are.  When difficulties arise, so do opportunities.  When it comes right down to it, success isnot a result, it's always a goal.  Change is the law of life, and we have to change.

Right now it's good for you to re-learn self-reliance.  It will sustain you.  Loose any anger toward your husband, as he will have his share of problems in time, no one can escape problems.  Loose the anger as it will harm you more than anyone else.  First and foremost, see an attorney as he//she will guide you through the process.  You can secure money from your husband, that he would spend on his new life.  You can't do this yourself, see an attorney, they will allow years for repayment, if you have to pay at all.

Things could always be worse, remember that.  When you are through this business, you will find happiness just around the corner.  Right now it is very over- whelming, but you will develop the right perspective in time.  So, keep your chin up, it's not that bad.  Kev

Hi ShortAndSweet:  We have a lot in common.  I too am in Maryland, my ex was also a cheating SOB, and I have the same birth year of 1966.

Hang in there, as you are about to go through a hellish roller coaster of emotions with the divorce process.  Follow spaznkitz advice....she has helped many of us here on this site and she knows what she is talking about!!  You are NOT alone in this.  We are all here for you.  August of 2008 was the worst time of my entire life!!  I would have preferred some form of midieval torture over the emotional pain that bastard put me through.  --and that he still won't acknowledge because he is still in his newly created world of reality---kinda like Jon Gosselin :o)

You are going to find A LOT of friends here S&S....you are not alone at all...

 

I read your story - make sure your filing includes a demand for temporary spousal support and that he must maintain the mortgage, cell etc - everything you are worried he might try to take away from you - so that you have legal recourse if he doesn't.

After you do file, if he starts in on you, blog/post here - don't unload on him without a clearer head - he will try to intimidate you, we can help you through that.

In that you will be using legal aid, be aware they won't be able to be extremely hands on with you due to case overload, so don't be afraid to ask questions here about any legal situations. Read the articles, take time to educate and empower yourself.

You will get throuhg this and be a better person on the other end of it after getting rid of his dead weight.