Books about Healing from Affairs, End of Marriage

Hi.  I read a book called "Storms can't hurt the sky: the Buddhist path of divorce".  It's about buddhism but yet not really because the author isn't buddhist himself and he just offers a new perspective to look at things.  It isn't about infidelity but about the hurt when his spouse just decided to leave suddenly, rather than work things out, which is sort of like what our spouses did by cheating.  I have read it three times already because I find new perspectives each time. 

I also have found that going to speak to a therapist really helps.  It just gives you someplace to cry, to scream, to feel however you need to feel, if only for that one hour a week.  I don't know about you, but for me the hardest part is trying to hold it all together in front of my four daughters all the time. 

Going into my fourth month of this ordeal, I am starting to realize that there is no easy solution to how to deal with it all though.  It's just one day at a time and each of us will overcome it somehow, someday.  If I could go for about a year and not see or speak to my husband, I think I could recover a bit easier.  But since we have children, that's not possible so I just try to get through each time and take a deep breath and remember that I am not a horrible person and I am not solely to blame for what happened.  No matter what is wrong in a marriage, infidelity is never, ever acceptable!

I have several books. I will post them all tomorrow but the one I can think of right now is I will live, I will love, and I will dance again.

not sure if this applies to you, but its certainly invaluable in terms of the betrayed partner:

http://www.amazon.com/Mending-Shattered-Heart-Partners-Addicts/dp/0977440060

:)

Getting past your breakup - how to turn a devastating loss into the best thing that ever happened to you   by Susan J. Elliott
 
http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Breakup-Devastating/dp/0738213284/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254433179&sr=8-1

i know two other people reading this book at present and ALL of us *love* it......

feel better

:)

mynewday, I am going to follow this post closely because I have the same question!  When I was still hoping and praying for reconciliation I read every book on affairs, subscribed to every website, plan, program, you name it.  Then, when it was evident I was the only one trying I was devastated because I never dreamed my stbx wasn't strong enough and didn't care enough to try.  I was SO envious of the women in these books, on the various websites. 

Now I'm coming to terms that he chose a new life over trying to get better for the old one.  This is not my fault but I am still trying to recover from the hurt, betrayal, shame, anger, EVERYTHING that comes from a cheating spouse.  I am currently reading a book called Boundaries and it is really good. 

 

Please people, if there is a book like we are requesting let us know.  Hey, if not, maybe we could write one.  It's just a thought.  Hang in there.  It'll get better.